Cleanse...and not the closet type

Have you ever said 'yes' to something, and after giving it some serious thought changed your mind, but it was too late to to say 'no', so you just went with it anyway, and then right when you started the thing you said 'yes' to you wanted to jump ship, but your pride got the better of you and so you stuck with it even though you really didn't want to?

I am not talking about my marriage here.  I would say yes to my man a million times over.  Although I wonder if he would ask me again if given the chance to do it over?  Well, for the sake of argument we are going to say that he would, and move on.

A good friend of mine started selling Advocare Products a couple years ago.  For awhile I avoided her like a plague because I didn't want her pressuring me into doing something wack like eating healthy.  Then after a few days months, I realized that she wasn't the pushy type, so I could hang out with her again.

Fast forward a couple of years.

About a month ago I was starting to feel very sluggish, and noticed that my face was starting to resemble that of a j-high girl going through the awkward puberty stage.  Adult acne is about as awesome as, well, nothing.  I did a little research, googled "cleanse" came up with a millions options, of which 'Advocare' was at the top of.  Lovely.  Clicked on the 'Dr. Oz Cleanse' option, decided I wasn't dedicated enough to go about this on my own....I mean who really has the time or ingredients to make a smoothie each morning that includes flax seeds, coconut water, ginger-flavored kumbocha, silken tofu, carrot juice, beet root, and the like!?!?  I have approximately 23 seconds each morning to eat breakfast.  Which is pry why I am in this predicament to begin with.  Anyway, then I clicked on the Advocare link and read this:

Toxins are everywhere – in the foods we eat, the air we breathe and the ground we walk on. These toxins build up in our body and may contribute to weight gain, loss of overall energy and poor skin tone, among other detrimental effects. 

Who knew!?!?

I was sold.

So then I did what any awesome daughter would do, I suckered my mom into doing this crazy 10 day Herbal Cleanse with me, because I need somebody to lean on when I'm not strong....or laugh with when all I want to do is gnaw my own arm off because I am in udder and complete sugar withdrawal.  Anyway, our regiment includes drinking this Peaches & Cream Fiber Drink in the morning.  Don't be deceived by the pretty package.  It is ew.  Just ew.  I don't care who makes it, the reality is that no fiber drink is good, and you can't convince me otherwise.  I literally gagged it down this morning.  Only 5 more of these to go...it's going to be a serious game of mind over matter here.

And we have to eat healthy, natural foods.  Say what!?!?!  That's all good, except that I pretty much live on Mt Dew and candy pumpkins right now.  THEY GET ME THROGH MY EVER-LOVING, NEVER-ENDING, HOMEWORK-SATURATED, PIANO-PRACTICING, LONG DAY WITH 4 KIDS!  The reality is that when I gave up shopping a year ago, I took up eating sugar.  Oh, fine, I've lived on sugar my whole life.  Read this fine print on the cleanse brochure and weep with me:

I cannot even.

When I am hungry, I am crabby.  Like, I am talking a 6-week old baby screaming, crying, and kicking their legs crabby.  When I am crabby, life goes to pot here.  So it was important that I be able to eat something while doing this to keep my energy level up as well as my happy mommy attitude.  The beauty of the Advocare cleanse is that for those 10 things I need to avoid for 10 days, there is a whole gammet of things I can eat.  And a green smoothie is NOT a required drink.  Bless.

So here's a recap for all of you, showing what I eat on a normal day vs. what I ate today.  Please be impressed.

                              Normal                                                                          Cleanse
Breakfast:  2 pieces of toast with margarine and Grandma Jam          1 banana
                   a glass of milk                                                                    a glass of delicious fiber drink

Snack:        1 can of Mt. Dew                                                               1 20-oz. bottle of water
                   A handful of candy                                                            1 banana

Lunch:        Whatever I can find...sandwich, mac'n'cheese,                 Raw spinach salad with
                    leftovers, Culver's, etc.                                                       chicken breast, blueberries,
                   And maybe another Mt Dew if I am feeling thirsty             apples, and walnuts, with
                                                                                                                raspberry vinaigrette*
                                                                                                              Water to drink

Snack:        A few crackers and more candy...                                      Spark Energy Drink(not as
                                                                                                                bad as it's fiber friend)

Dinner:       Whatever is on the menu board...Strombolli,                     Grilled hamburger, no bun,
                    Corn Casserole, BLT's, chips, etc.                                       with tomatoes, onion and
                    Water                                                                                     lettuce, spinach salad
                                                                                                               Water

*not sure this is legit, but throw me a bone here people, I have been gnawing on raw spinach the whole live-long day

So far on day one I have not snapped at or strangled anyone yet, so I would consider that a success.


Please note that you are all full of toxins, but Jesus still loves you, so carry on.  

Unconditional Love

12 years ago, this happened:

What!?!?  And yes, that is my natural hair color, for those of you that have always wondered.

On that day my man stood up in front of all of our family and friends and spoke these words to me:

I, Zach, take you Lindsay,

to be my wife in Christian marriage.

I promise God, and I promise you that 

I will be Christian in my actions and attitudes.  

I will serve the Lord with you; 

I will provide Christian leadership in our home.  

I will work to meet our financial responsibilities;

 I will be faithful to you and to you alone.  

I will pray for you and encourage you, 

I will weep with you in sorrow, rejoice with you in blessings, 

and be your faithful companion until Christ calls us home.  

I make these promises to you, with the help of God.  

I'm pretty sure I cried.  And I'm also pretty sure that I didn't hear a single word that he said to me.  Instead, I heard something like this:

I, Zach, take you Lindsay,

to be my wife in Christian marriage

as long as you look put together, never gain weight,

always do your hair and make-up,

keep the house clean and organized,

never wreck a vehicle,

raise perfect children, 

be amazing all the time,

never make a mistake,

never fail.

I make these promises to you, may God help you.

From the time we started dating I had myself convinced that my man would only love me if I was perfect.  And why would I think differently?!?!  We are living in a society where you can get a drive-thru divorce if you want one....not literally, but close(don't worry babe, I just did the research on that for blog-related reasons).  

You don't like how your spouse look?  Divorce them.  They drive you crazy in a not-so-good sort of way?  Divorce them.  You found somebody else that is better suited for you than what you have?  Then divorce your current spouse and move on.  Your marriage is hard and you just don't really want to work at it?  Please don't inconvenience yourself or put forth any effort, rather just walk away from that commitment.

Media and celebrities, and all of culture alike do a great job at hammering home the message that if you aren't the perfect person, then your spouse isn't going to love you.  And taking it even further than that, if you don't satisfy your spouses needs or meet their every expectation, then they have every right to walk away due to irreconcilable differences.  I don't even know what that means.

Over the last 12 years I in no way have been the perfect spouse.  I have thrown temper tantrums.  I have been selfish, demanding, and all sorts of unloving.  It's hard to believe, but I might have one or two annoying habits(but really, it's probably just one).  There have been ugly haircuts that made me all sorts of unattractive.  There have been bouts of morning sickness and days of waking up to morning breath.  My chest has deflated itself and my love handles have grown.  Grey hairs have taken over my head, and varicose veins now decorate my legs.  I know there are many more things about me that gives my man reason walk away from me in the worlds eyes, yet he hasn't.  And the devil reminds me often(at lease once an hour) about how imperfect I really am.  How I am completely unworthy of love.

God's love.

My man's love.

Anyone's love.

He spews lies at me, telling me that there is no possible way my man would ever want to be "with" me based on how my body looks right now.  He can't possible be turned on by this aging, sagging, deflated, jiggly body.  He has me convinced that my man's love is very dependent on me.  The devil is trying to get a foothold, create a crack on our marriage, so that he can wedge himself in there and create distance and pain.  And you know what, some days it works.  There are days that I eat up those lies he feeds me like a yummy piece of Hershey's Chocolate cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory(SO, SO good, by the way, and worth every calorie). 

But this guy, the one I committed myself to long before we said, "I do," he doesn't believe those lies.  And he doesn't love me only on a good day or a pretty day.  He loves me on those days that I can't find time for a shower and my hair is a mess.  He loves me when I am dressed up and on a date with him.  He loves me when I am acting ugly, and when I am being lovely.  He loves me after a disagreement and when I am cordial.


His love is not conditional.  

The pastor that married us used 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, which also happens to be the verses Zach used when he proposed to me.  I'm sure you just about know that passage by heart...

It's some-what cliche, but it still speaks volumes, especially in our world today.  I came across these  footnotes in my bible a couple of years ago, based on Matthew 5:31-32:

Unconditional love doesn't just happen on it's own.  It has to be very, very intentional.  And what I've found, especially after having kids, is that for me it's easier to give unconditional love than it is to receive it.  The devil is always ready to pounce on my flaws and remind me that if only I was better at this or more of that, then people would love me. 

I think what I hate the most is how hard the devil works at convincing me that I am nothing and not worthy of love.  

But what I love the most is that I have this great guy and an even greater God on my side working harder to convince me that what the devil says simply isn't true.

And you're gonna have to face it, what it really boils down to, is that my man is simply addicted to love...

Please note that my blog is a form of free therapy for me.  Sorry if I say too much, but rest assured that with each paragraph typed, there is one that I leave untyped in my head.  

Walk

For the past 10 years I have pushed a stroller on my walk.  A single stroller, then a double, back to a single, back to a double, and finally a single again.  I have pushed my children hundreds of miles around the streets of our quaint little town.  For many years my stroller chased the wheels of a bike ridden by one of my older kids.

That all changed about a month ago, when this happened:

Our baby started school.  Three School to be exact.  And that left me with an empty stroller on my walk a couple of mornings a week.  For a moment I considered pushing an empty stroller on my walk around town, but after considering how much crazier that would make me look, I decided to leave my wheels at home and hit the pavement solo.

I had been longing for this day for, well, 10 years.  A walk.  By myself.  Quiet.  Relaxing.  No snacks to dish out.  No one begging me for a drink of my water (that I desperately need to survive).  No one asking me questions every 2.5 seconds(I'm not even kidding about that number.  I've timed it before.) No one chucking books or toys in the grass when they are done playing with them.

Just me.

And when I took off that first day after dropping our baby off at school, I suddenly felt very, well, exposed I guess is the word.  For 10 years I have hid behind that stroller.  As long as I had the stroller in front of me I had an excuse to stop mid-jog, for the "needs" of my child.  My legs, which aren't exactly that of a teenager anymore, were hidden quite nicely behind the stroller.  And with that stroller out in front me I had my hands full, so I wasn't able to take on more.

And that all changed, quite quickly on that Tuesday morning in early September for me as I left my baby behind and took off on my own.

Suddenly I could hear God speaking to me, which I'm sure He tried to do earlier, but was drowned out by the one in the stroller seat.  And what He said has changed me, "No more hiding.  No more using your kids as an excuse for your lack of involvement in My Kingdom.  Take your eyes off of the space in front of you and look around at the needs that surround you.  Those hands that are accustomed to gripping a handle?  Use them.  Stop hiding and start working for Me."

And I immediately wanted my stroller back.

I wanted to hide.  I preferred to be too "busy" with my own life to hear God calling me to do more.

I had heard that voice before, the one that calls you when you are least expecting it.  The voice that asks you to do something that you weren't exactly thinking about.  And I wanted to ignore it then too.  But all of the sudden it makes sense.  If I want a real faith, one that takes me places I don't really want to go, then I have to be listening for that voice that will prompt me towards "good works, which God prepared beforehand, that I{we} should walk in them." (Ephesians 2:10, ESV, emphasis added).

After 10 years of hiding, God is calling me to take steps of faith in my journey, trusting Him when things don't make sense.  Leaning on Him when I am at the end of me and He has called me to give more.  Walking a road that is not one on my map.

It's scary, it's crazy, it's overwhelming, but it's good, because God is good.  All the time.


Please note that I fully believe that raising kids who love and know God is kingdom work in and of itself.  But apparently doing that with 4 kids isn't quite enough, and God has something more in mind...so if I look crazy scared or tired or stressed out next time you see me, give me grace as I walk in faith....oh wait, I've looked that way for the past 10 years, so I will probably just look "normal".  

Drumroll, please...

Thanks to all {5} of you that left a message on my last post.  It was good for my soul to read that we would all struggle to give things up.  It's hard to open yourself up and be honest, but when you do, I think God starts working.  Before you know it, you will all be doing a spending fast, starting a blog, and telling your man all sorts of crazy stuff that you think God is telling you.  Maybe my man needs to start a blog for a support group...hmmm.

Anyway, today was the day to pick the winner of Jen Hatmaker's book Interrupted, and I am just so, so excited to pass this book on.  So without further ado, here it goes(and in the absence of my editor, his cute assistant stepped in to help)...

 The names of 5 fabulous ladies...

...are carefully folded up and put in the bucket... 

...the bucket gets a shake... 

...and the winner is Becky!

Now, in true Lindsay-fashion, when I was ordering my book from Amazon, I put not 1, but 5 copies of this book in my cart.  I have a little problem, which includes giving things away(ask my man, I would give you the shirt off his back if you really needed it).  So, although Becky's name was the one drawn from the bucket, I am going to give everybody that commented on my last post their very own copy of Interrupted.  I know this is not quite as exciting as when Oprah gave away her favorite things at Christmas time, but if you want to jump up and down and scream and fall on the floor in excitement, I would appreciate it.  

To the rest of you that are looking to have Jesus wreck your comfortable Christianity, order your copy of Jen's book by clicking here or you can find it on Amazon and at your local Barnes and Noble.  You will be changed after reading this book.  Now go get wrecked for Jesus.


Please note that I wish I could send every single one of you a copy of this book....but then I wouldn't be able to feed my family, and apparently that's a problem.  So Courtney, Jen, Jean & Sarah, please e-mail me your mailing address at zldevries@hotmail.com and I will get your copy in the mail, and feed my family too.

Interrupt Me

Have you ever picked up a book, just for the "fun of it", and then a couple of chapters pages paragraphs into it you realize that after reading it your life will not, cannot ever be the same?  (It's at this point that you wonder if you should keep reading, or perhaps just tuck that precious little book away for another day.)  That is what this book:

did for to me.

God bless you Jen Hatmaker.  I'm pretty sure we would be bff's, if only we didn't live 5 states apart.

And in case you are unfamiliar with her
 (I feel sorry for you), here's a little info:

Jen Hatmaker is the author of 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess  and A Modern Girl's Bible Study series.  With a heart for her generation, she speaks at conferences around the country.  Jen resides in Austin, Texas, with her husband, Brandon, and their five children.  

I started with her book 7: an experimental mutiny against excess and when that didn't rock my world enough(insert sarcasm), I moved on to Interrupted.  And my whole world shook.  This is not a warm-fuzzy book, or one for the faint of heart.  It hits home, and it hits hard.

You are going to want the following items with you if when you sit down to read this book:
-Pen/pencil
-notebook
-highlighter
-kleenex(for when you cry because your heart is breaking, and for when you cry because you are laughing so hard)
-a nice quiet place to just be you, every sniffle-nose and runny mascara part of you

I underlined and/or highlighted about 90% of the book, all while feeling God nudging me to move.  Jen touches on how to go from being essentially on the top of the economic ladder to falling to the bottom, to serve those at the bottom.  The challenges keep coming, one after the other.  Making you question if you are really doing enough for God.  Here is one beautiful quote:

When Jesus told us to "take the lowest place" (Luke 14:10), it was more than a strategy for social justice.  It was even more than wooing us to the bottom for communion, since that is where He is always found.  The path of descent becomes our liberation.  We are freed from the exhausting stance of defense.  We are no longer compelled to be right and are this relieved from the burden of maintaining some reputation.  We are released from the idols of greed, control, and status.  The pressure to protect the house of cards is alleviated when we take the lowest place.

(page 72-72, emphasis added)

About nine months ago, God started interrupting my journey, and challenging me with the same question Jen has challenged all of us with...What would you struggle to give up if Jesus wanted to use your life to make a difference in the world?

Well, there's shopping, spending money on useless things, finding comfort in material possessions, and maintaining a certain reputation...just to name a few.  After my 6-month shopping fast I was thinking that perhaps God was actually done interrupting my life, but as it turns out, He wasn't.  I read Jen's first release of Interrupted in January, and then along came this awesome opportunity to read and review the revised version of it, and I could just hear God saying, "Dear naive one, you have so, so, so much to learn yet.  What you think you have loosened your grip on, you are still holding onto way too tightly.  And things are about to get real.  Enjoy the ride."

God spoke to me through Jen time and time again in this book...in regards to American consumerism, Jen had this to say:

Americans living in excess beyond imagination while the world cries out for intervention is an unbearable tension and utterly misrepresents God's kingdom.  While the richest people in the world pry to get richer, the rest of the world endures unimaginable suffering with their faces pressed to the window of our prosperity...and we carry on, oblivious.

(Page 31)

Listen, dear, lovely readers, we(meaning you and me) are included in those Americans living in excess.  Sorry if that stings a little.  But I'm not really.  I have food to feed my family of 6.  I drive a bus that gets about 14 miles to the gallon on a great day with a strong tail-wind.  My kids go to an amazing school that is loaded with above-average teachers, and it's clean.  My family drinks clean water, right out of our tap.  My house is almost cold inside on a 90 degree humid Iowa day.  My life is cushy...and there are people living "out there" whose aren't.  

And to that Jen says:

The blessed and the lost will be separated based on one principle: 

the care of the oppressed.  

The end.

(page 103)

I mean, just let that soak in.  And I am in NO way trying to guilt-trip you here.  I think it all goes back to the idea of "blessed to be a blessing."  And rather than just blessing the blessed, because honestly, it's quite easy to do that, take it one step further and bless the least, for whatever category renders a person least in our minds--bear the face of Jesus.(page 106)  It's amazing how different this can look for each of us too.  Are the least living in your town?  In your neighborhood?  In your state? In another country?  Serve them wherever they are...wherever God has placed a passion.  Serve there.  And perhaps not just with money, but with your hands, as Jen talks about:

I'd like to be great because we battled poverty with not just our money but our hands 

and hearts.  I desire the greatness that comes from seeking not only mercy 

but justice for those caught in a system with trapdoors.

(Page 83)

You guys, I cannot say enough good about this book.  Jen loves, she steps up to the plate, and then she challenges.  And if you are not up for a God-awakening challenge, then please do not even think about reading this book.  But if you are ready to step out, to do something far beyond yourself, if you are ready for God to interrupt you, like He Interrupted Jen, and like He is doing to me, then please, please, please read this book.  And watch God work in your life.  

So, again, the question:

What would you struggle to give up if Jesus wanted to use your life 

to make a difference in the world? 

Leave your answer to that question below for a chance to win a free copy of Interrupted.  

{1 winner will be chosen at random by my cute editor}

Please note that if you want to read her book, but don't think you want to really buy it, I have exactly 2 things to say...1) You can't borrow my copy because it's so marked up you wouldn't even be able to read it, and I'm just not really into sharing, and 2)You might as well just buy your own copy because if you are lucky enough to find it in-stock at your library, you will have to pay for it after you are done reading it because you too, will highlight all of it.

Issues of the heart: jealousy

He had already put in a full day of work, leaving well before my eyes were ready to open for the day. His job that day had taken him out of town, and after his work day was done, he drove straight to his next project, which left me sitting at home barefoot and pregnant entertaining our nearly 1-year-old son on my own for yet another evening.  Alone.

I knew what my next step had to be.  I was planning in my head how I would pack a bag for my son and I, and we would drive out to my parents house and stay with them, assuming they would have us as house guests, indefinitely.  It seemed like the best solution, according to the little voice in my head.  The little voice that tells me that if my man really loved me he would put me before any project.  He would see that I needed him at home helping raise our son worse.  He would be giving me the time and attention I need each day to feel loved.  That little voice had me so convinced that the only solution to the problem was giving up on my marriage.  This is not what I had signed up for when I said, "I do".  When I made that vow less than 3 years earlier to love my man, I had visions of taking family strolls around the neighborhood; sitting on the floor reading books to our son together; taking our baby to the park to play; spending time together.  Not sitting at home jealous of a project that was stealing my man's time from me.

I was burning with anger, and my love tank was on 'E'.

Not that kind of love tank.  Ew.

The love tank that Gary Chapman talked about in his book "The 5 Love Languages."  We had read that book together, and established that my love language is quality time.  Which would explain why I was overcome with jealousy towards a project.  I was jealous that my man would give his few free hours each day to something other than me.  I understand that makes me sound, well, a little immature or childish or whatever.  But I need time to feel loved.  (If you want to find out what you need to feel loved, read that book, you will not be disappointed.)

I remember when I was in about 5th grade and my teacher, Mr. B, would talk about how God was a jealous God.  It was such a funny concept to me, because it had been hammered in my head that we weren't supposed to be jealous of others and what they have, yet this God who is over all and above all is jealous.

Exodus 20:4-6(NRS), states, "You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.  You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments."

If that passage isn't clear enough, flip a few pages to the right where Moses tell us in Deuteronomy 4:28, "For the Lord your God is a devouring fire, a jealous God."

God demands my exclusive loyalty and affection.  Just as I was demanding that from my man.  And all the sudden I understand what my teacher was talking about a few years ago.  God wants all of me...my time, my attention, He wants to know that He matters to me.  It seems to me that God has lots of love languages...quality time, acts of service, gifts, etc.  And when I fail to show my love to Him in those ways he becomes jealous, just like I did.

And it makes sense, doesn't it?

Just as I was jealous of the time my man was giving to his project, and I was left feeling forgotten, so God feels when I fill my time with things other than him...Facebook, e-mail, movies, television, exercising, and the list goes on.  One pretty awesome thing about God though is that he isn't tempted to pack His bags and call it quits.  We are given that promise in Hebrews 13:5, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."

Praise the Lord for that.


Please note that even if I would have gotten up enough courage to pack my bags and drive out to my parents, I am about 99.9% sure that my dad, in all his wisdom, would have told me to get my bottom back in my car, drive back home, and fight for my man and my marriage....dad's really do know best...

On becoming 35

It didn't just happen overnight.  It took 12,780 days to accomplish what I am about to do.

That's right friends, I am on the brink of turning 35 fabulous years old.  Well, 35 used to be old, like when I was 21.  But I am starting to think that 35 is the new 21.  Right?  Just smile and nod.

Well, if I could talk to my 21-year-old self, there are so many things I would say, like the following...

Enjoy those smooth legs that don't jiggle or resemble cottage cheese, your lack of love handles that really aren't that lovely, your bladder control, abs, non-jiggly toned upper arms, and your perky chest that is a far cry from the deflated-balloon look that is coming.  Ok, who am I kidding, I've never really had a chest, but I had to put it in there.  You might think your body will never age, but you are oh so wrong.  You too shall fall victim to gravity.

Have fun, but not too much fun.  Soon enough you will be watching Barney and eating stale Goldfish, so take time to enjoy the here and now, and don't get lost longing for "someday".

Read your Bible.  Over.  And over.  And over again.

Try not to get so caught up in the little things, that you loose sight of the big picture.

You are not the center of the universe.  So stop acting like you are.

Save yourself $20,000 and quit school...your real job someday won't care if you know about Corporate Finance or Business Law or Computer Programing or Calculus.  Your employer will be more concerned with your ability to build towers, play house, read books, and give good-night kisses.

Have patience.  And remember that His ways are not your ways.  And that's ok.

Sleep.  A lot.  To make up for the years to come when you will not sleep so much.

Don't be scared to try new things.  People will always have opinions on what you should or should not do, but the most important thing is to follow hard after what God is calling you to.  Learn how to play the violin, sky dive, grow a garden, sing on praise team at church, start that blog...oh wait, when I was 21 there was no such thing as a blog...

Break up with that boy.  He might be a great guy, but there is one that is even greater for you, so don't waste your time on another.

Give grace...especially to that greater guy I just mentioned.

Stick with only getting your ears pierced.

Love your brown hair...it will not always be just brown.

Eat dessert after every meal...your metabolism is at it's prime, and by the time you reach 35 you will only need to think about eating dessert for those calories to haunt you.

Stop judging everybody and start assuming the best in them.

Don't blink, because before you know it you will be 35.

And last but not least...The best is yet to come.  You might think life is good and full right now, that going to college and hanging with friends all day is as good as it can ever get, but you are so, so wrong.  Pretty soon you will be hanging out with mini-yous all day, watching them develop into these little people and every milestone will be amazing.  You will be married to your best friend, the one who laughs with you, hugs you when you cry, and holds your hand when times get tough.  And that is better than anything that being 21 could offer.


Please note that despite the fact that I am starting to feel a little older, I would never trade being 35 for being 21 again...well, maybe for like 1 day I would trade my body.  But that's all.  Oh, and perhaps a full night of sleep.