For the First Time in Forever

First of all, you are welcome for getting that song stuck in your head.  If you have a daughter under the age of 10 living at home you have probably already heard it about 39 times today.  If you don't have a daughter annoying you singing it for you, then click below to hear it.  You can thank me later.

Anyway, on Saturday I went shopping for the first time in forever.  That event in and of itself really isn't noteworthy, and I'm guessing a few of you really don't care what I did on Saturday.  But a few others have asked me if I have been shopping since my fast ended, so I thought I would share a bit about my day.

If you don't really care about my shopping day, you have my permission to quit reading right now.  Go ahead and click on the little 'x' up in the corner.  You will not hurt my feelings.

And now I would like to thank the other 5 of you that chose to keep reading.

I will do my best to make this exciting, and worthy of your 3 1/2 minutes.

Let me first tell you why I had to go shopping.  It's all my man's fault really.  You see, he forced me to drive to Williamsburg, Iowa, home of the only noteworthy outlet mall in our state, to cheer him on during his 102 mile bike ride, which he was doing to help raise money for Bethany Christian Services.

Here is proof that I did cheer him on as he rode past...

So after I got that out of the way was done cheering and encouraging and waving and taking pictures, my attention turned to the mall.  I should also note here that I had my oldest daughter, Emerson, with me.  Who, as it turns out, likes.to.shop.

That's a problem.  But she'll have to figure that out someday because I am having a hard enough time reprogramming my own brain.

Our first stop was at Gap, and I am so super proud to say that I only bought a boring old white cami.  I know, right, who would have guessed!?!?  That is a store that I typically go a bit overboard in.  If I see and I like, I typically buy it.  But not on Saturday.  Not sure if it was the cool spring we have had or what, but I just wasn't "inspired" by anything I saw.  My heart did not leave that store longing for anything.  Emerson did find a few things there, but I don't feel like I need to go into detail...a girl needs clothes to wear, but I will give her props for shopping the clearance wall which was an additional 20% off sale prices.  Bless her.

On and on our day went...Oshkosh, Under Armour, Claire's, Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory(don't judge...I was shopping with an 8 year old, and she needed some sugar to make it through a few more stores), Old Navy, Carter's, Bath & Body Works, perhaps a few others in there, and then J.Crew.  

I did really good all day.  Until J.Crew.

I could sort of feel myself being tempted, A LOT, to buy all sorts of stuff here.  But here is what I walked out with:

This dress, which I wore on Sunday and completely pitted out in.  Cute dress.  Not so cute when you are singing in front of church with dark rings under the arm holes.  And it's dry clean only, so I am going to have to sweat in it a few more times before I pay to wash it.  Whoever invented 'Dry Clean Only' did not sweat.  Anyway, I had a necklace and shoes at home to pair with it, and I do love it.

This baseball tee, because for some reason I think I play baseball, so I need a tee to go with it.  I love it too.  I'm wearing it today, and I don't feel guilty at all about it.  Not at all.  It's like this shirt was made for the spring we are having this year.

Oh, and then hello, this little cardigan that was on sale for $12.99.  There are days that I just need to be comfy.  And I will wear my cheap cardigan on those days.

I also bought a hoodie, but it's already been returned.  It was, um, overpriced and winterish.  Not a great combination.  Pre-fast it would have stayed here and lived a good life with me, but now I have to be in love with it and it has to be cheap to live at my house.  

And that's it.  Seriously.  Three whole items were added to my wardrobe after an entire afternoon of shopping.  Ok, so maybe for some of you getting 3 items is a big deal.  But pre-fast, I wouldn't walk out of ANY store I went in with less than three items.  For real.  Crazy, I know.  

So how did it feel, you wonder, to go shopping after not being able to go for 6 months?

Hmm, well, I wasn't sure if I should be excited or scared or happy or sad or feeling guilty or giddy...and then I went into that first store, and I was pleasantly surprised with myself.  Surprised that I could look at the clothes for what they really are: just clothes.  They don't define me, they can't save me, they don't satisfy me, they offer no salvation, they can't control me, they rarely fit me just right, they don't make me a better mom or wife, and they don't make me who I am. 

For the first time in forever I can see that my fast was worth it.  All 6 l-o-n-g months of it.  

Please note that the reality is that I simply didn't have any money left to shop for myself on Saturday because I spent it all on the sweet girl I had with me.  Just kidding.  Sort of.

Someday

These are the thoughts that go through my mind each day as I am trying to journey here...

Someday I will be able to walk across my living room without stepping on a toy.

Someday I will be able to go to the grocery store without having to get hit in the shins with those "cute" little red carts.  Bless the person who designed those things.

Someday I won't spend my day wiping things...noses, bottoms, hands, counters, floors, tears.

Someday I will be able to read my devotions at 6:30am without a little knock on my door.

Someday I will go for a walk without having to pack strollers, bikes, snacks, books, drinks, toys. 

Someday I will be able to go to Walmart and get through my short list without having to sprint to the bathroom for the sake of one of my girls.

Someday I won't have to hear "Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee" being played on my piano over and over.

Someday I won't have to share my lunch.

Someday I won't have to plan my day around nap time.

Someday I will be able to take a shower without an audience.

Someday I won't have to keep track of reading time and AR points and spelling lists and memory work.

Someday I won't hear the words 'Mom' and 'Why?' 756 times per day.

Someday my schedule won't consist of running people from here to there.

Someday I will be able to eat a warm meal.

Someday I will get to watch a movie other than Frozen.

Someday I won't have to drive a bus.

Someday my man and I will be able to have an uninterrupted conversation.

Someday I won't have 8 loads of laundry to do every few days.

Someday my purse won't be used to haul snacks, drinks, and extra clothes.

Someday I won't have to break up a fight.

Someday they won't ask to go to the park every.single.day.

Someday getting out the door won't include yelling and screaming and running late. 

Someday I won't feel so overwhelmed everyday.

Someday they will be too big to fit on my lap...

Someday I will wish that time would just stand still...

Someday I won't lose sleep worrying about their tomorrow...

Someday I will wake up...and they won't be here...

Someday they will grow up and spread their wings...




Someday he will be a dad...

Someday he will be able to use the gifts God has given him to work for His glory...

Someday I will have to let him go...








Someday she will have a family of her own...

Someday God will use her Spanish in ways that we cannot imagine...

Someday she will understand that life isn't always fair, but that God is always good...






Someday she will have the confidence to run and never look back...

Someday she will giggle at her own blonde-haired, blue-eyed baby...

Someday she won't ask me to read her a story...

Someday she will be grown up, but she will always be our baby...

Someday she will tunnel her energy and do something big...

Someday she will give her hugs and kisses to babies of her own...

Someday they won't all live under one roof...

Someday we won't be just a family of 6...

Someday God will lead them down a path that might take them away from here...

Someday I will be more than their mom, I will be a friend...

Someday I will be a phone call away...

Someday I will look back and wonder where the time went...

Someday I will long for the days when they were all little, with little problems...

Someday my today will become a whole bunch of yesterdays, and I will be left wishing for one.more.day...so for today I am going to celebrate that I am a Mom to 4 littles who have big dreams for someday...

Please note that apparently my need/desire to blog did not end with my fast on May 1.  You may notice a new name and layout, but it's still the same-old me, trying to do Life's Journey Here...