Cleanse: The Review

Well, I am now on day two post-cleanse and I am still trying to completely form my thoughts and opinion of my cleanse.  On one hand, it's nice to not have to start my day off with some pills and my "fiber smoothie."  On the other hand, since my ban on certain foods has been lifted, I am more tempted to just start my day off with a bowl full of sugar(i.e. cereal) and load up from there.




Over the past two weeks I have traded Mt. Dew for a Spark drink, chips for carrot sticks, candy for almonds, guacamole for mayo and pizza for salad after salad after salad...

So here is the good, the bad and the ugly regarding my 10-day cleanse.



The Good

My man and I took our kids to Des Moines last Friday night.  At first I was a bit concerned about where I would find something at a restaurant that I could eat.  After about 36 seconds of research I decided that Panera was going to be my best option, and the kids love it, so it was a win-win.  I ordered a salad that I had found on their website that wasn't on the menu.  Hello high maintenance.  Instead of the salad I ordered, they brought me their Power Chicken Hummus Bowl.  I wasn't super excited about the hummus, since I think hummus resembles baby poo, but with 4 hungry kids, an empty stomach of my own, and a desire to please, I thought I would give it a shot.  I was pleasantly surprised with the taste of this salad!  I'm not sure it looks so appetizing in the picture I took, but it was good, and I would recommend it!  So one good thing that came out of this cleanse is that I tried something new, and liked it.

Perk number 2 from my cleanse is the amount of extra energy I have!  I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not out running a marathon or anything, I don't have THAT much extra energy.  But instead of getting in a sugar-slump midday, I find myself perky-ish and my mind is clear(er).  Let's be real here, I still have 4 kids that drain me physically, mentally. and emotionally, but I am shocked at how alert I feel.  I feel almost human again.

And then remember how I wrote about that fabulous adult acne I was experiencing?  It's pretty much gone.  No more Greasy Gracie here.  I am now Glowing Gladys.

On day number 3 when I wanted to quit, and on day number 4 when I wanted was tempted to eat all of the halloween candy rather than hand it out to the kids, and then on day 5 when I wanted a Mt. Dew so bad I could taste it, and day number 6 when I had to resist a Starbuck's White Chocolate Mocha, and day number 7 when I wanted to order pizza, and day number 8 when I made scotcharoos and wanted to lick the frosting bowl out, and on days number 8, 9 & 10 when I just wanted to call it quits, my mom had my back.  And that was good.

The Bad

One of the major draw-backs of doing a cleanse is that I was not always able to eat what my family was eating.  For example, Cheeseburgers were on the menu one night, but instead of having a hamburger with cheese, mayo, ketchup, and a bun, I had a plain burger with guacamole on it.  I mean, it was good and all, but there is just something about a hamburger that requires all the fixins.  Sort of like...

Love and Marriage, love and marriage, 

go together like a horse and carriage.  

This I tell you brother, 

you can't have one without the other.

Try, try, try to separate them...it's an illusion

Another thing that falls into the "bad" category is my inability to eat what I want, where I want, when I want.  I took the girls thru the drive-thru at McDonald's for lunch one day because I am just that dumb, and had to plug my nose so I could resist the temptation of the fries.  I mean, come on, THE FRENCH FRIES PEOPLE!  I had been gnawing on raw spinach salads for exactly 9 days when this beautiful box of uneaten fries was left on my table.  Be still my heart.  I am happy to say that I was able to place them in the trash, uneaten, without cheating.  And honestly, the only thing that kept me from completely inhaling them was the fact that they were cold by the time I spotted them.  And cold fries aren't quite as tempting as hot, greasy, salty fries.  Mmmm.

The Ugly

Here are a few of the sweet things I wanted to eat so bad that I turned ugly when I couldn't...

Raw chocolate chip muffin mix.

By the spoonful if I could.

Scotcharoos.  Yum.

Halloween Candy.

Dying here.

Overall I am very glad I did the cleanse, and since I am scared to death of the repercussions that come with eating "real" food after doing a cleanse, I am still avoiding sugar and all greasy foods.  Which means that my life is still boring.  No pop.  No candy.  No raw cookie dough out of my freezer....yet.

Please note that this cleanse has in no way, shape or form made me better than you.  It just made me full of a few less toxins than you, whatever that means.