Improvement

Alright.  If you read my post on Monday you know that my mom and I started a 10 day cleanse on Monday.  To be honest, Monday just was not a good day from the get-go.  We were about 10 minutes late getting out the door, which meant I didn't have time for breakfast, other than the fiber drink I think so highly of {insert sarcasm}.  The whole day just felt wonky, including the foreign mostly sugar-free food I was putting into my body.

I am happy to report that yesterday was much better, as is today!  Here is a recap of my last 36 hours...

Yesterday I started my day off on a better foot, found 36 seconds to make and eat breakfast instead of the standard 23, which meant I had time to make an egg, peel a banana, and mix my fiber drink in the blender with ice so it was more of a smoothie per say and less of a glorified cup of Pepto Bismol.

Then I was off to Des Moines for a shopping day with my mom (and no kids!!!  YAAAAAYYYY!!!) My mom is so sweet, she made me a pumpkin flavored smoothie to drink on the way since she knows I like pumpkin pie so much.  Aren't mom's the best!?!?  So we enjoyed a energy-packed drink on our drive, which totally got us off on the right foot.

We did a little shopping, and ended up at Whole Foods right before lunch.  Who knew that there were enough people trying to be healthy in this world that they require their own somewhat over-priced grocery store.  Well, my man knew I guess.

Since we were both feeling a little hangry (that's when your lack of food causes you to become both hungry and angry, frustrated, or both.  Look it up, it's in the Urban Dictionary.  For reals.) we decided to grab lunch there.  Anyway, Whole Foods has this salad bar that is a-ma-zing.  3 different salad bars, with 2 sides each, 90% of which we could eat. Score.  This is what we ended up with: Detox Salad(obviously had to get this one), Quinoa, and a corn salad.

This is some version of quinoa on top, and a 
detox salad on the bottom.  I'm pretty sure you
will all want to get some next tine you are near 
a Whole Foods, so you are welcome for the info.




I'm not sure if it tasted heavenly because we were so hungry, or just because it was that good.  But it all totally hit the spot.  Even if we were sitting in my mom's truck in the mall parking lot eating it.  Classy.  You can do that when you don't have messy kiddos in the backseat.

                                                                                                 Again, the quinoa is on the left, and a corn radish salad is 

on the right.  See that cute cup by the quinoa?  

That is what my pumpkin smoothie was in.  Love.

Off to the mall, where, HELLO, things like this are taking shape:

Shenanigans!  I don't even have costumes for my kids to wear tomorrow night for beggars night, and already Christmas decor has taken over department stores.  I mean, Younker's was kind of pretty, but still!  The crazy reindeer was a bit overpriced in my opinion.

Mid afternoon Starbuck's started calling my name, but I held strong and mixed up a grape Spark drink instead.  Trust me when I say that it didn't quite taste the same as a white chocolate mocha, but it was ok.

It did refuel me for a few more hours, and I grabbed a handful of mixed nuts for a little shot of protein, and made it through the afternoon full of energy and happy to continue to shop.  Typically by mid-late afternoon I am done.  I have no energy left, I am crabby, and my legs hurt.  But between the 60 ounces of water I was chugging and these energy drinks, I was shopping on fresh legs all day.  Great news for my man.

One of our stops before dinner was to Nordstrom Rack and Home Goods, which both just opened up by Jordan Creek Town Center.  I walked out of Nordstrom Rack empty handed, but I did make a couple of purchases at Home Goods.

                                              This is what I wanted to buy:

 This is what I bought though:

They are pretty much incomparable.  Trust me friends when I say one is NOT a substitute for the other. 

Since I was about to cave, it was clearly time to eat again.  And again, my amazing mom pulled through with these salads for each of us, which was Organic Spring Mix lettuce with a hard-boiled egg and homemade salad dressing.  You can call her Becky Homecky.  The only thing that would have made this salad better would have been some of Momma Jane's homemade croutons.  But alas, this are on the naughty list for the next week.  Sigh.  

We ate these delish salads in the parking lot of Costco in an attempt to help us resist the aisle of samples, all of which are also on the naughty list this week.  Amazingly enough, we were both feeling energetic yet at this point, and conquered Costco like it was our job.

Here is a picture of my mom and I on our final stop of the night, Target.

We had such a great day, we both felt great all day, even after a 12 hour shopping day.  Now maybe I will need to do another spending fast after I get rid of all of my toxins.  I can only work on one thing at a time here, friends.

Please note that I am sorry if you're mom isn't as cool as my mom.  Mine can't be borrowed or rented out, so don't even try.

Cleanse...and not the closet type

Have you ever said 'yes' to something, and after giving it some serious thought changed your mind, but it was too late to to say 'no', so you just went with it anyway, and then right when you started the thing you said 'yes' to you wanted to jump ship, but your pride got the better of you and so you stuck with it even though you really didn't want to?

I am not talking about my marriage here.  I would say yes to my man a million times over.  Although I wonder if he would ask me again if given the chance to do it over?  Well, for the sake of argument we are going to say that he would, and move on.

A good friend of mine started selling Advocare Products a couple years ago.  For awhile I avoided her like a plague because I didn't want her pressuring me into doing something wack like eating healthy.  Then after a few days months, I realized that she wasn't the pushy type, so I could hang out with her again.

Fast forward a couple of years.

About a month ago I was starting to feel very sluggish, and noticed that my face was starting to resemble that of a j-high girl going through the awkward puberty stage.  Adult acne is about as awesome as, well, nothing.  I did a little research, googled "cleanse" came up with a millions options, of which 'Advocare' was at the top of.  Lovely.  Clicked on the 'Dr. Oz Cleanse' option, decided I wasn't dedicated enough to go about this on my own....I mean who really has the time or ingredients to make a smoothie each morning that includes flax seeds, coconut water, ginger-flavored kumbocha, silken tofu, carrot juice, beet root, and the like!?!?  I have approximately 23 seconds each morning to eat breakfast.  Which is pry why I am in this predicament to begin with.  Anyway, then I clicked on the Advocare link and read this:

Toxins are everywhere – in the foods we eat, the air we breathe and the ground we walk on. These toxins build up in our body and may contribute to weight gain, loss of overall energy and poor skin tone, among other detrimental effects. 

Who knew!?!?

I was sold.

So then I did what any awesome daughter would do, I suckered my mom into doing this crazy 10 day Herbal Cleanse with me, because I need somebody to lean on when I'm not strong....or laugh with when all I want to do is gnaw my own arm off because I am in udder and complete sugar withdrawal.  Anyway, our regiment includes drinking this Peaches & Cream Fiber Drink in the morning.  Don't be deceived by the pretty package.  It is ew.  Just ew.  I don't care who makes it, the reality is that no fiber drink is good, and you can't convince me otherwise.  I literally gagged it down this morning.  Only 5 more of these to go...it's going to be a serious game of mind over matter here.

And we have to eat healthy, natural foods.  Say what!?!?!  That's all good, except that I pretty much live on Mt Dew and candy pumpkins right now.  THEY GET ME THROGH MY EVER-LOVING, NEVER-ENDING, HOMEWORK-SATURATED, PIANO-PRACTICING, LONG DAY WITH 4 KIDS!  The reality is that when I gave up shopping a year ago, I took up eating sugar.  Oh, fine, I've lived on sugar my whole life.  Read this fine print on the cleanse brochure and weep with me:

I cannot even.

When I am hungry, I am crabby.  Like, I am talking a 6-week old baby screaming, crying, and kicking their legs crabby.  When I am crabby, life goes to pot here.  So it was important that I be able to eat something while doing this to keep my energy level up as well as my happy mommy attitude.  The beauty of the Advocare cleanse is that for those 10 things I need to avoid for 10 days, there is a whole gammet of things I can eat.  And a green smoothie is NOT a required drink.  Bless.

So here's a recap for all of you, showing what I eat on a normal day vs. what I ate today.  Please be impressed.

                              Normal                                                                          Cleanse
Breakfast:  2 pieces of toast with margarine and Grandma Jam          1 banana
                   a glass of milk                                                                    a glass of delicious fiber drink

Snack:        1 can of Mt. Dew                                                               1 20-oz. bottle of water
                   A handful of candy                                                            1 banana

Lunch:        Whatever I can find...sandwich, mac'n'cheese,                 Raw spinach salad with
                    leftovers, Culver's, etc.                                                       chicken breast, blueberries,
                   And maybe another Mt Dew if I am feeling thirsty             apples, and walnuts, with
                                                                                                                raspberry vinaigrette*
                                                                                                              Water to drink

Snack:        A few crackers and more candy...                                      Spark Energy Drink(not as
                                                                                                                bad as it's fiber friend)

Dinner:       Whatever is on the menu board...Strombolli,                     Grilled hamburger, no bun,
                    Corn Casserole, BLT's, chips, etc.                                       with tomatoes, onion and
                    Water                                                                                     lettuce, spinach salad
                                                                                                               Water

*not sure this is legit, but throw me a bone here people, I have been gnawing on raw spinach the whole live-long day

So far on day one I have not snapped at or strangled anyone yet, so I would consider that a success.


Please note that you are all full of toxins, but Jesus still loves you, so carry on.  

Unconditional Love

12 years ago, this happened:

What!?!?  And yes, that is my natural hair color, for those of you that have always wondered.

On that day my man stood up in front of all of our family and friends and spoke these words to me:

I, Zach, take you Lindsay,

to be my wife in Christian marriage.

I promise God, and I promise you that 

I will be Christian in my actions and attitudes.  

I will serve the Lord with you; 

I will provide Christian leadership in our home.  

I will work to meet our financial responsibilities;

 I will be faithful to you and to you alone.  

I will pray for you and encourage you, 

I will weep with you in sorrow, rejoice with you in blessings, 

and be your faithful companion until Christ calls us home.  

I make these promises to you, with the help of God.  

I'm pretty sure I cried.  And I'm also pretty sure that I didn't hear a single word that he said to me.  Instead, I heard something like this:

I, Zach, take you Lindsay,

to be my wife in Christian marriage

as long as you look put together, never gain weight,

always do your hair and make-up,

keep the house clean and organized,

never wreck a vehicle,

raise perfect children, 

be amazing all the time,

never make a mistake,

never fail.

I make these promises to you, may God help you.

From the time we started dating I had myself convinced that my man would only love me if I was perfect.  And why would I think differently?!?!  We are living in a society where you can get a drive-thru divorce if you want one....not literally, but close(don't worry babe, I just did the research on that for blog-related reasons).  

You don't like how your spouse look?  Divorce them.  They drive you crazy in a not-so-good sort of way?  Divorce them.  You found somebody else that is better suited for you than what you have?  Then divorce your current spouse and move on.  Your marriage is hard and you just don't really want to work at it?  Please don't inconvenience yourself or put forth any effort, rather just walk away from that commitment.

Media and celebrities, and all of culture alike do a great job at hammering home the message that if you aren't the perfect person, then your spouse isn't going to love you.  And taking it even further than that, if you don't satisfy your spouses needs or meet their every expectation, then they have every right to walk away due to irreconcilable differences.  I don't even know what that means.

Over the last 12 years I in no way have been the perfect spouse.  I have thrown temper tantrums.  I have been selfish, demanding, and all sorts of unloving.  It's hard to believe, but I might have one or two annoying habits(but really, it's probably just one).  There have been ugly haircuts that made me all sorts of unattractive.  There have been bouts of morning sickness and days of waking up to morning breath.  My chest has deflated itself and my love handles have grown.  Grey hairs have taken over my head, and varicose veins now decorate my legs.  I know there are many more things about me that gives my man reason walk away from me in the worlds eyes, yet he hasn't.  And the devil reminds me often(at lease once an hour) about how imperfect I really am.  How I am completely unworthy of love.

God's love.

My man's love.

Anyone's love.

He spews lies at me, telling me that there is no possible way my man would ever want to be "with" me based on how my body looks right now.  He can't possible be turned on by this aging, sagging, deflated, jiggly body.  He has me convinced that my man's love is very dependent on me.  The devil is trying to get a foothold, create a crack on our marriage, so that he can wedge himself in there and create distance and pain.  And you know what, some days it works.  There are days that I eat up those lies he feeds me like a yummy piece of Hershey's Chocolate cheesecake from The Cheesecake Factory(SO, SO good, by the way, and worth every calorie). 

But this guy, the one I committed myself to long before we said, "I do," he doesn't believe those lies.  And he doesn't love me only on a good day or a pretty day.  He loves me on those days that I can't find time for a shower and my hair is a mess.  He loves me when I am dressed up and on a date with him.  He loves me when I am acting ugly, and when I am being lovely.  He loves me after a disagreement and when I am cordial.


His love is not conditional.  

The pastor that married us used 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, which also happens to be the verses Zach used when he proposed to me.  I'm sure you just about know that passage by heart...

It's some-what cliche, but it still speaks volumes, especially in our world today.  I came across these  footnotes in my bible a couple of years ago, based on Matthew 5:31-32:

Unconditional love doesn't just happen on it's own.  It has to be very, very intentional.  And what I've found, especially after having kids, is that for me it's easier to give unconditional love than it is to receive it.  The devil is always ready to pounce on my flaws and remind me that if only I was better at this or more of that, then people would love me. 

I think what I hate the most is how hard the devil works at convincing me that I am nothing and not worthy of love.  

But what I love the most is that I have this great guy and an even greater God on my side working harder to convince me that what the devil says simply isn't true.

And you're gonna have to face it, what it really boils down to, is that my man is simply addicted to love...

Please note that my blog is a form of free therapy for me.  Sorry if I say too much, but rest assured that with each paragraph typed, there is one that I leave untyped in my head.