One of them has blond hair and blue eyes, the other has brown hair and brown eyes.
One of them we planned on, the other one God planned for us.
One of them came in the afternoon, the other was born in the morning.
One of them prefers to be inside, the other thrives when outside the confines of four walls.
They both love to dance, sing, read books, be with their mom, and although they are both miracles, one has a story unlike the other.
It was a sticky humid July day in Missouri when the first signs of trouble appeared. I was just six weeks pregnant, carrying a secret that I had not yet quite come to terms with. You see, there are some people who do this thing called 'family planning.' And we apparently were not one of them. Oh I like a good plan, but sometimes God has a plan that is far better than one that we can write ourselves.
So back to that hot day in July. The instant I felt a gush I knew something wasn't right. I quietly excused myself from a mean game of mini-golf that my husband and I were in with our 2 older children and ran, literally, to the bathroom, which confirmed what I had felt. I was bleeding, and had never experienced that with the other 3 pregnancies.
I was scared to death.
I quickly called my doctor, and was told that I was more than likely having a miscarriage, and needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. My next phone call was to my mom, full of tears and pleas for prayers. Prayers for this child that she didn't even know about until my phone call.
And then I had to tell my man. So with tears in my eyes I told him what was happening. How my body had betrayed me and how sorry I was.
After dropping the kids off at the condo we headed straight for the emergency room. That was the longest car ride of my life, and my mind was spinning. I was so angry at God. Angry that He had given us this baby, just to turn around and take it away. We never planned on having 4 kids, so why. Why would He give, just to take away?
After a long, and unpleasant ultrasound, we were told that they could not find the fetus anywhere. I was having a tubal pregnancy, which put my life at risk, therefore I was not allowed to leave the hospital until they could remove the fetus.
If ever I was a hot mess, it was right then and there in that tiny exam room.
So many questions were going through my mind. So many what-if's and now-what's. So many tears shed for this baby. So much frustration with my body. So much anger. So broken.
And my poor man had to make the phone calls. The ones that told our families of our forth child that would never come to be.
A sweet little man, Dr. Hooker, came into my exam room and told me that he would be performing the surgery to remove this child that I had never met, but loved with all my heart. The child that I would die for.
I remember telling the nurses in the operating room that my birthday was just a few days away, but this wasn't exactly the birthday present I was wishing for.
And off to sleep I went.
When I was starting to come to in the recovery room I heard the nurses saying something about a girl that was still pregnant, but couldn't quite make out what they were saying. Later when the fog cleared a little more, I was finally able to ask what was going on, and they spoke the words that I never dreamed I would hear..."Darlin', you are still pregnant."
I was pretty sure I was under the affect of drugs, but this is what they shared with me...
After a failed attempted to locate the fetus in either of my fallopian tubes, the doctor prepared to do a DNC to help my body rid itself of the baby. But God had sent a host of angel armies to my room during surgery, and Dr. Hooker, being pro-life, felt led to do another ultrasound, just for his own peace of mind. Much to his surprise, he found our sweet little baby right where it should be, with a good strong heartbeat. But she was tucked behind a big blood clot, which brought a whole host of it's own concerns.
But my baby was alive.
I will speed things up here by telling you that after 16 long, hard, worrisome weeks, full of prayers and tears, the blood clot dissolved on its own, taking with it the high risk of miscarriage.
At 34 weeks I was measuring 4 weeks behind. More red flags. Another ultrasound to confirm that our child was still growing ok.
Then at 36 weeks I was hospitalized with kidney stones.
And finally at 39 1/2 weeks, on the morning of her sister's birthday, we met this little girl face-to-face who was perfect in every way. Taityn Lin DeVries entered this world ready to take it on.
Her pregnancy helped me believe that miracles do still happen today....and that God's plan is better.
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