Until this year, when I was doing a lot more resenting than I was loving.
Anyway, when we were in Colorado we had gorgeous weather and great snow to ski on. Our 3 older kids were with us and were also participating in our adventure. And we were having so much fun. Here is proof:
Yet all I could think about was that mall 10 minutes away, and all the things I was missing out on. The entire time we were there I was haunted by that place. Just feeling like I had to get there. There were good deals to be had. Cute clothes to be bought. The only way for me to be happy was to get to that mall to see what was hanging on the racks of my favorite stores. I had to go. My soul would not rest until I found at least one thing to buy. I mean good grief, I had coupons to use.
But alas, I didn't go. For lots of reasons.
First of all, with the weather as great as it was, we spent a majority of our time out on the mountain.
Second, there was a snowstorm brewing in Iowa, so our trip was cut short, which meant that I didn't have as much time to venture to the mall.
And third, I knew that there really wasn't anything at that mall that would make me happy for more than a few days, and that I wasn't really being haunted by the mall, I was being attacked by satan. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of winning. He knew that all he had to do was get me into one store, and I would be toast. What I hate about it all is that I really wasn't able to enjoy the trip, all because of him. And that makes me angry. Angry that he thinks he has the right to show up when and where he wants and wreak havoc on time that I am spending with my man and kids. Angry that he ruined a great trip. Angry that he took my focus off of God's beautiful creation.
In my group at church we are studying the book of 1 Samuel. If you haven't read this book as an adult, I would encourage you to do so. There is so much in there that the "David & Goliath" Children's Bible story version misses out on. Anyway, we are discussing Saul and how so often as king he is torn between being the kind of king that God called him to be and being the person who satan wants him to be.
Just when you think Saul likes David, an evil spirit comes over him, he is consumed with jealousy, and he starts chucking swords at David while he is playing his harp nearby. There is a constant struggle between good and evil going on during Saul's reign as king. And let's be honest, we really aren't that much different that Saul. It's so easy for me to read stories out of the Bible and cast judgement on the people, but I am thinking that if my life were all written out in black and white for the whole world to read it wouldn't be very impressive either. There would be some things that I am proud of, and others that, well, let's just say I'm glad that God offers grace and forgiveness.
God vs satan isn't a new concept. I know that. But what is new is that in my quest for less, I have to look to God for more. More guidance. More direction. More stability. More strength. Less of me so there can me more of Him.
John 3:30 says, "He must become greater, I must become less."
So very true.
Please note that I am by no means a theology major, so I'm sure there is a lot more to Saul's story than what my little mind can comprehend. I am just telling you about what stood out to me while reading his life story.
No comments:
Post a Comment