Focus

So often I like to think that people notice me.  That when I walk in a room, heads turn to see me.  That people notice how my hair is styled or what clothes I am wearing, to how "put together" I really am.

But let's be honest...that doesn't happen.  Hardly ever.  Ok, probably never.

I am not writing this to get any amount of pity, nor am I trying to be Debbie Downer.  It's just that one of the things God has revealed to me over the last 2 1/2 months is that although I matter to people, I don't matter that much.  Meaning what I wear, or whether I cut 6 inches off of my hair, or whether my family all matches for the Christmas service is so irrelevant to anybody but me.

It's not about me.

This life is not about me.

I really was under the impression that people were keeping track of what I wore when, what was new and what had been worn before, and if I looked cute or if I showed up in sweats.

You know what...I was giving myself a little too much credit.

Ouch.

But it is a bit of a freeing feeling knowing that the judgement you are receiving from those who stand before you is so irrelevant compared to the eternal judgment that will be received one day from The One you stand before.

God has reminded me that on my day of judgement, He will not ask me what I wore to my husband's work Christmas party, He isn't going to care if my kids wore new clothes each season or if their clothes came out of a hand-me-down tote in the basement, and I am pretty sure He will not be complimenting me on my haircut.

He will, however, be quite interested in how I showed loved for His sheep, how I clothed the naked, how I provided for the poor, and how I fed the hungry.

So often I feel like I am a little isolated from "the needy" in Pella, Iowa.  But the truth is, we don't have to look far to find it.  In fact, we don't even need to travel to Des Moines to find people who need help.

Yesterday at Coffee Break one of the leaders shared with our group that there are children right here in this quaint little Dutch community that will stay home from school on Valentine's Day, simply because they cannot afford to buy cards to hand out. 

And that breaks my heart.

I just finished another book by Jen Hatmaker entitled "Interrupted.  An Adventure in Relearning the Essentials of Faith."  I could plagiarize the entire book in this post.  Honestly.  In it Jen talks about how God called her to a radical change in their lifestyle.  He called Jen & her husband to quit their jobs, wait on Him for the next step, and then trust with all their might that God's plan was right.  God stripped them of their home, moved them to a not-so-nice part of town, and asked them to minister to the homeless, lost, unloved, needy, poor in their Austin, Texas community.

If you're waiting for an announcement like that to come out of this post, you are going to be hugely disappointed.

I think God is continuing to open my eyes to see things from His perspective, but He hasn't called me to do anything too radical.  Yet.

Anyway, here are a couple of my favorite passages from her book:

All of a sudden, I saw my exact reflection in Peter: devoted but selfish, committed but misguided.  And that is not going to be enough.  It won't suffice to claim good intentions.  Saying "I meant well" is not going to cut it.  Not with God screaming, begging, pleading, urging us to love mercy and justice, to feed the poor and the orphaned, to care for the lost and least in nearly every book of the Bible.  It will not be enough one day to stand before Jesus and say, "Oh? Were You serious about all that?"

...I wrote one time about being jealous of the disciples, how they knew the lines in Jesus' hands and the sound of His voice.  They were chosen to experience Jesus in the flesh, a distinction they had no concept of until He was gone.
    Yet a similar honor awaits us all.  We have the privilege of serving Jesus Himself every time we feed a hungry belly, each moment we give dignity to someone who has none left, when we acknowledge the value of a convict because he is a human being, when we share our extreme excess with those who have nothing, when we love the forsaken and remember the forgotten.  Jesus is there.

And each time we provide Valentine's for children who would otherwise go without.

God is not asking for a donation equivalent to a year's salary, He is simply asking me to meet the needs that I can.  And to take my focus off of myself, and put it where it belongs...on loving His sheep.

And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony. -Colossians 3:14.


Please note that I am not even kidding about what I wrote at the beginning of this post.  Judge me if you want, but let's be honest ladies, we all sort of want heads to turn when we walk in the room.  My reality is that the only reason people might turn to see me walk in the room is because I come bearing 4 loud kids who would like to be seen and heard.  Bless them all.