Dirty Laundry

Today is laundry day at my house.  I.Love.Laundry.Day.  For real.  There isn't anything more satisfying to me than having 5 laundry baskets full of clean clothes.  Even if it only lasts for 5 minutes.  I live for those 5 minutes.

As I was folding my last little shirt today I looked down at my bed, and the entire thing was covered with clothes.  Covered.  You could not even see the comforter through all the piles of clothes.  Ridiculous.

I then counted all those clothes, and this is what I came up with...in a weeks worth of time our family of 6 wore 69 shirts, 56 pairs of socks, 52 articles of unmentionables, 48 pairs of pants, 4 dresses, 20 pairs of jammies, 1 leotard, and 2 1/2 swimsuits(don't ask.).  And those are just the things that made it to the laundry basket.  That does not include the random items left in the toy room, stuffed under the bed, or hung back in the closet to be worn a second time before washing(if you think that is gross, I don't care).

Ridiculous.

And what is even worse is that nobody was out of clothes in their drawers or closets.  Still plenty of shirts, pants, jammies, socks, and swimsuits to last a few more days.

Oh I have had the urge for awhile now, ever since I read Jen Hatmaker's book entitled Seven, to do a closet purge.  You know, get rid of those items that I am hanging on to just-in-case the situation arises that I might in the off-chance need to wear them again sometime in the next 3 1/2 years.  A good example would be this cute little halter-top I have.  Are those even cute anymore?  Well, at any rate I cannot part with this thing.  I wore it 2 kids ago, and may have had the chest to pull it off at the time.  But not anymore.  It is time to bid that top farewell, give it my blessing, and send it on it's way.  Surely there is somebody out there that can do that top more justice than I can.  And then there are those jeans that I am hanging on to...a pair for fat days, a pair for skinny days, and 15 pairs for all the other days.  And let's be honest, most days I end up in comfy pants anyway...

So my goal for the new year is to rid my closet of those things that I have no use for, and taking it one step further, to keep in line with my fast, to see how long I can go without filling the empty hangers.

Jen talked in her book about consumerism, here is what she had to say in regard to shopping and clothes:

With my genuine needs met but so many dollars yet unspent, shopping has become a stronger marker of freedom than voting, and what we spend in the mall matters more than what we're accomplishing together as the church.  I am a part of the problem, a contributing member of inequality.  Every time I buy another shirt I don't need or a seventh pair of shoes for my daughter, I redirect my powerful dollar to the pockets of consumerism, fueling my own greed and widening the gap.  Why?  Because I like it.  Because those are cute.  Because I want that.

These thoughts burden my holistically, but the trouble is, I can rationalize them individually.  This one pair of shoes?  Big deal.  This little outfit?  It was on sale.  This micro-justification easily translates to nearly every purchase I've made.  Alone, each item is reduced to an easy explanation, a harmless transaction.  But all together, we've spent enough to irrevocably change the lives of a hundred thousand people.  What did I get for that budgeting displacement?  Closets full of clothes we barely wear and enough luxuries to outfit twenty families.

I am just sure that Jen and I are soul mates.  She pry wouldn't agree though.

I am not kidding that there is something about shopping that just feels good to me.  There is something about ripping the tag off a new shirt, or putting on a new pair of jeans that just feels so liberating to me.  And I can justify just about every purchase I have ever made.  I have a problem.  I know.

My man and I were in Des Moines Saturday night and I confessed some of my dirty laundry to him...since my fast forbids me to shop for and spend money on clothes, I have been shopping and spending money on other things...furniture for my daughter's room(she moved from a crib to a big-girl bed), accessories for her room, books, curtains, home decor, Christmas gifts, and more.

And I am left wondering why I feel like God has sort of turned his back on me.

My fast was initiated, and orchestrated for the sole purpose of turning to God when I needed filling, not to shopping.  And I failed.

Shame on me.  But I am not going to wave my white flag of defeat quite yet.  I have another plan.

For the next 4 months I am going to take my fast one step further.  I am going to not only bid shopping for clothes farewell and rid my closet of the clutter, but I am going to spend money only on the necessities...food, toiletries, haircuts(sorry, I must cover all the grays), etc.  And no, this is not about the money, in case you are wondering, this is about me needing to rely fully on my God, and not on the temporary fulfillments of this world.

I read this morning in my devotions the following:  Enjoy the adventure of finding yourself through losing yourself in Me.

So if you run into me at Walmart and I have a cute $1 coloring book in my cart for my daughter, you can kindly tell me that she doesn't need it.  Or if you see a fun throw-pillow in my cart at Target, you can tell me to put it back.  And if you find out that I have been searching the internet for a cute new swimsuit for spring break, please tell me how ugly it would look on me.  And remind me that I am supposed to be losing myself so that I can find myself in God.


Please note that if you do any of the things I mentioned in my last paragraph, I may "unfriend" you on Facebook, but eventually I will come to my senses and appreciate you again.