Oh mylanta. Today was the day, according to my man. The annual "Chop Down the DeVries Family Christmas Tree Day."
This day holds it's own unique adventure each year, therefore it is also deemed worthy of it's own post.
My man feels it is important that we drive to the middle of nowhere to chop down a tree with the kids, for the sake of making memories. So off we went to make memories.
We always start with the best intentions. So early this morning we buckled 4 kiddos into our bus(or Expedition EL) and started out.
Right before we left I realized I was out of Mt Dew. This is a problem. So I held my man's coffee captive until he agreed to stop and get a pop for me, and all the while our 7-year-old is in the back seat preaching to us about how we should both stop our nasty habits. Zip it little one, you know not what you speak of.
So he stopped at Casey's, I released his coffee to him, and we were off for the tree farm, full of caffeine and a whole list of other products that I can't pronounce. But at least I didn't have a headache. Yet.
After arriving at the farm we were escorted back to the section that held the big trees. That should have been an indication of what we were getting ourselves into. But it didn't, we were too busy dreaming about the tree that would make Christmas 2013 all that and a bag of chips.
We started walking around, examining tree after tree. Right out of the truck Boo found one that she was just sure was the one. It was all of 3 feet tall. We decided to keep looking.
Sally(or Emerson) was insistent that we find a tree that "felt good." So she was walking from tree to tree deciding if the needles on it felt good. She found one. It was, well, a bit crooked. We decided to keep looking.
Tait was busy telling us every 30 seconds that she was tired and hungry, and quickly forgot what the task at hand was. After a few minutes she fell about 15 feet behind the rest of us and started telling the trees that she was tired and hungry. I think they cared more than I did.
Holden was the keeper of the saw. Not sure why we thought that was a good idea. He was more interested in spinning the saw around in hopes of "accidentally" nicking one of his sisters than he was about the tree.
All of the sudden it was as if the heaven's opened up, and there before us stood THE TREE.
Before my man started sawing, he confirmed that this was indeed the one. I said yes...then went looking for another tree. Not a good idea, in case you were wondering.
After I checked out a few more trees I returned to ours, and I am not kidding that it had grown in the 30 seconds I had been gone.
I mentioned to my man that maybe it really wasn't the one after all. He was well into it with his dull saw, and politely told me that I couldn't change my mind, we were committed this one already.
The nice workers came with their little ATV to take our tree and shake it for us. It took both of them to keep it in the back of the ATV.
After we drove back to the main area and saw our tree again, I was sure that it had grown...again. It was a bit fuller than what I had remembered it being in the field.
It took exactly 5 men, a stepstool, and a few ropes to get the beast(our tree) strapped to the top of our truck. The Griswold's don't have anything on us.
And all the while everyone that went past was looking at our truck with a ginormous tree strapped to the top with a grin on their face...pretty sure we were the laughing stock of the tree farm.
We made it nearly a mile before we had to stop and tighten the straps. For fear that our tree might actually fly off the top of the truck, my husband drove below the speed limit the whole way home. That was the first time that has ever happened. First. Time. Ever.
Upon arriving home we trimmed the bottom, and set it in a stand that is intended for a tree about half it's size. I had to do a little extra trimming on the bottom, since my man indicated that presents wouldn't fit under it. And I'm fasting from buying clothes, not Christmas presents, so we need space for gifts...more on that in a later post.
And our tree is now standing in our living room, taking up a substantial amount of the space in there. I swear it grew again. Thinking we may need to remove a few pieces of furniture for a season.
But when I look at our tree in all it's big fat glory, I am reminded of the memories made this morning with little ones that I am told will all to quickly be making memories with families of their own.
So thanks, Lumber Jack, for making sure our family is making memories...
Please note that again, this post had nothing to do with my fast...sometimes I think it's good to give you all a glimpse of what our family is really like...and I was going to post a picture, but it just didn't do the beast justice. If you want to see it first-hand, you are always welcome to stop by for a cup of hot chocolate.
Journey
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Just Stop
So last week I was feeling very attacked. By satan to be exact.
I was having a pretty good week, when out of nowhere satan started planting seeds of doubt in my head. I am thinking that it may have something to do with this blog.
This post is going to be pretty raw. Meaning I am going to write about things that I wouldn't normally share. With anybody. Even my man. And that is saying a lot.
So one of the posts I wrote last week didn't get as many hits as the previous ones. And satan hopped on that like a kid in a candy store.
And this is what he had to say...Look at that, you loser, nobody wants to read about you. Why do you think anybody cares? Nobody cares about what you are doing. You should just stop. You are just a nobody who sits at home all day taking care of kids. What you are typing about is so irrelevant. People are too busy to care about this so-called sacrifice you are making. You should just stop. I mean look at you, you aren't pretty enough or thin enough or put-together enough to be deemed worthy of peoples time and attention. You know people are judging you, right? You think you are doing this good thing, when really there isn't anything good about what you are doing. You should just stop.
And I considered it.
Then I went to church on Sunday, and listened as Craig Broek, a guest pastor, preached on the parable of the mustard seed. And how a mustard seed starts out so small, but it doesn't take long and that one seed can quickly become a plant that takes over an entire area.
We read about it in Matthew 13:31-32. Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field; Which indeed is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof.
As I sat there and listened to the words God gave Craig to speak I wanted to cry. But I couldn't because I was on praise team that morning, and I had to get back up in front of church...and I would have been a hot mess...again.
How crazy is God's timing. Seriously. He knew that I needed to hear those words. He knew that I needed to be reminded that the success or failure of this blog or fast isn't dependent on how may hits my blog gets. It's about one thing...that my relationship with God will be strengthened through this, so that I will seek Him to fill me rather than clothes or other things of this world.
If the only seed that gets planted through this journey is the one in my heart, then I will considered it a success. If perhaps my seed grows and others want to come and lodge in the branches thereof...wait, that sounds weird. How about if others find solace in what I am doing, then that is all God. His Spirit moves on His time, not mine.
I have a good friend who called me up almost immediately after I posted my first blog a month ago. God bless her, she was so honest with me. I believe her words went something like this...I think what you are doing is great, but I am not going to do this with you.
After I accused her of being my weakest supporter she has become one of my biggest fans. And I know that when she told me that she wasn't going to join me it didn't mean that she wanted me to fail.
Satan, however, does want to see me fail. And being only 1 month into it, I know he will work on me again. And I have faith that God will put the right person in my path to undo the lies that satan tries to get me to believe next time, just like He did last week.
So no, satan, I will not stop.
Please note that I have felt so much love from so many of you over the last month. And this post is in no way, shape, or form a cry for pity. So many of you ask how it is really going, and like I mentioned, this is just me being very honest with all of you. Not looking for any more than what you all have already given me.
I was having a pretty good week, when out of nowhere satan started planting seeds of doubt in my head. I am thinking that it may have something to do with this blog.
This post is going to be pretty raw. Meaning I am going to write about things that I wouldn't normally share. With anybody. Even my man. And that is saying a lot.
So one of the posts I wrote last week didn't get as many hits as the previous ones. And satan hopped on that like a kid in a candy store.
And this is what he had to say...Look at that, you loser, nobody wants to read about you. Why do you think anybody cares? Nobody cares about what you are doing. You should just stop. You are just a nobody who sits at home all day taking care of kids. What you are typing about is so irrelevant. People are too busy to care about this so-called sacrifice you are making. You should just stop. I mean look at you, you aren't pretty enough or thin enough or put-together enough to be deemed worthy of peoples time and attention. You know people are judging you, right? You think you are doing this good thing, when really there isn't anything good about what you are doing. You should just stop.
And I considered it.
Then I went to church on Sunday, and listened as Craig Broek, a guest pastor, preached on the parable of the mustard seed. And how a mustard seed starts out so small, but it doesn't take long and that one seed can quickly become a plant that takes over an entire area.
We read about it in Matthew 13:31-32. Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field; Which indeed is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof.
As I sat there and listened to the words God gave Craig to speak I wanted to cry. But I couldn't because I was on praise team that morning, and I had to get back up in front of church...and I would have been a hot mess...again.
How crazy is God's timing. Seriously. He knew that I needed to hear those words. He knew that I needed to be reminded that the success or failure of this blog or fast isn't dependent on how may hits my blog gets. It's about one thing...that my relationship with God will be strengthened through this, so that I will seek Him to fill me rather than clothes or other things of this world.
If the only seed that gets planted through this journey is the one in my heart, then I will considered it a success. If perhaps my seed grows and others want to come and lodge in the branches thereof...wait, that sounds weird. How about if others find solace in what I am doing, then that is all God. His Spirit moves on His time, not mine.
I have a good friend who called me up almost immediately after I posted my first blog a month ago. God bless her, she was so honest with me. I believe her words went something like this...I think what you are doing is great, but I am not going to do this with you.
After I accused her of being my weakest supporter she has become one of my biggest fans. And I know that when she told me that she wasn't going to join me it didn't mean that she wanted me to fail.
Satan, however, does want to see me fail. And being only 1 month into it, I know he will work on me again. And I have faith that God will put the right person in my path to undo the lies that satan tries to get me to believe next time, just like He did last week.
So no, satan, I will not stop.
Please note that I have felt so much love from so many of you over the last month. And this post is in no way, shape, or form a cry for pity. So many of you ask how it is really going, and like I mentioned, this is just me being very honest with all of you. Not looking for any more than what you all have already given me.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Thank You Jesus
One of my favorite things to do is going to watch my kids perform. Be it a dance recital, Christmas program, soccer game, preschool program, Spanish program. It doesn't matter, it makes my heart happy to see my kids doing their best for Jesus.
Last year I went to a Mother's Day tea in my daughter's class. This would pry be a great time to give a little info on her classroom. It's not your traditional classroom. At all. She is in the Spanish Immersion program at our school. What does that mean you ask? Well, she is taught all day in Spanish. Every subject, except art, library and music. When I go to her classroom I hear lots of chatter, but don't understand 95% of it. But she is THE cutest blond-hair, blue-eyed little dutch, Spanish speaking kid I have ever seen. I am a bit biased though.
Ok, back to my point.
So I went to her classroom where she and her fellow Spanish-speaking classmates got up and sang a song. And honestly, all I could get out of it was "Thank You Jesus," the rest was all foreign to me. But by the end of the song I had tears rolling down my face.
Shift gears to a dance recital I attended at which two of my daughters were set to perform. As I sat in my seat and watched them twirl and clap and tap to the rhythm, my eyes again filled with tears. They were both just doing their best, it wasn't perfect by any means (but man were they cute).
Shift gears again to the baptism of our youngest child. Our son was in Kindergarten and his class had just finished memorizing Psalm 23. A friend sang "Children of the Heavenly Father" and broke in the song just long enough for my son to recite that beloved Psalm. Tears were everywhere on my face that day.
I was a hot mess.
My husband is very aware of the need to carry kleenex in his pocket any time we are going to watch our kids do something. It is to the point now where he pretty much knows what my breaking point is, and just quietly offers the kleenex without wondering if the tears are there.
So this morning I went to chapel at my kids' school. And as we are standing there singing about Jesus being our superhero, and then later listening to the same friend that sang at our daughter's baptism sing "Praise the King" my eyes once again filled with tears.
I am just so amazed that the same God that made the universe also made these little people that I love with all my heart. He gave them life, he gave them each this unique set of talents and interests. He has written a different story of each of them. He loves them all the same.
And I am blown by all of that.
So when I see them doing these ordinary things, like singing and dancing and reciting scripture and kicking a soccer ball and building a tree house, I am a little overwhelmed that my God loves me enough to bless me with these kids.
And I often wonder if He looks down on me, just trying to do my best at what He has asked me to do, with tears in His eyes.
Many people continue to ask me how my fast is going. And I can honestly say that I feel God leading me more and more everyday through this. The same God that made the universe and blessed me with my kids, also cares about me and my silly little fast.
Thank You Jesus for that.
Please note that our kiddos are in no way shape or form perfect. And I am certainly not a perfect parent, nor do I claim to be. Pretty sure I mess up more than I get it right. But if you mess up one of those kids that God blessed me with, you will see my momma bear side come out...and the tears will be yours.
Last year I went to a Mother's Day tea in my daughter's class. This would pry be a great time to give a little info on her classroom. It's not your traditional classroom. At all. She is in the Spanish Immersion program at our school. What does that mean you ask? Well, she is taught all day in Spanish. Every subject, except art, library and music. When I go to her classroom I hear lots of chatter, but don't understand 95% of it. But she is THE cutest blond-hair, blue-eyed little dutch, Spanish speaking kid I have ever seen. I am a bit biased though.
Ok, back to my point.
So I went to her classroom where she and her fellow Spanish-speaking classmates got up and sang a song. And honestly, all I could get out of it was "Thank You Jesus," the rest was all foreign to me. But by the end of the song I had tears rolling down my face.
Shift gears to a dance recital I attended at which two of my daughters were set to perform. As I sat in my seat and watched them twirl and clap and tap to the rhythm, my eyes again filled with tears. They were both just doing their best, it wasn't perfect by any means (but man were they cute).
Shift gears again to the baptism of our youngest child. Our son was in Kindergarten and his class had just finished memorizing Psalm 23. A friend sang "Children of the Heavenly Father" and broke in the song just long enough for my son to recite that beloved Psalm. Tears were everywhere on my face that day.
I was a hot mess.
My husband is very aware of the need to carry kleenex in his pocket any time we are going to watch our kids do something. It is to the point now where he pretty much knows what my breaking point is, and just quietly offers the kleenex without wondering if the tears are there.
So this morning I went to chapel at my kids' school. And as we are standing there singing about Jesus being our superhero, and then later listening to the same friend that sang at our daughter's baptism sing "Praise the King" my eyes once again filled with tears.
I am just so amazed that the same God that made the universe also made these little people that I love with all my heart. He gave them life, he gave them each this unique set of talents and interests. He has written a different story of each of them. He loves them all the same.
And I am blown by all of that.
So when I see them doing these ordinary things, like singing and dancing and reciting scripture and kicking a soccer ball and building a tree house, I am a little overwhelmed that my God loves me enough to bless me with these kids.
And I often wonder if He looks down on me, just trying to do my best at what He has asked me to do, with tears in His eyes.
Many people continue to ask me how my fast is going. And I can honestly say that I feel God leading me more and more everyday through this. The same God that made the universe and blessed me with my kids, also cares about me and my silly little fast.
Thank You Jesus for that.
Please note that our kiddos are in no way shape or form perfect. And I am certainly not a perfect parent, nor do I claim to be. Pretty sure I mess up more than I get it right. But if you mess up one of those kids that God blessed me with, you will see my momma bear side come out...and the tears will be yours.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
The Verdict
A couple of posts ago I wrote about a delivery I had received from my UPS man. And I'm sure you have all put your lives on hold, waiting to hear what my man decided about the contents of the package. I can just picture all of you sitting on the edge of your seat waiting to read what follows...it's a nail-biter, so brace yourself.
It's a hung jury.
Here's how it went down. I took the dress and 2 sweaters that I wanted to keep, hung them up, and put the other skirt and sweater on the shelf to be returned. I had the dress/sweater combo hanging in the kitchen for a few days, he had many opportunities to comment, he didn't, so it went into the appropriate closet.
But that stupid dress is haunting me.
I swear, I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about that thing. Should I keep it? Should I take it back? She will look so cute in it, but does she need it? If I keep it, will I be breaking fast? Did I just fail? It wasn't that expensive, but could the money be better spent somewhere else? If she wears it for Christmas, then she will match her sisters and brother, and I thought I covered that in Q&A #1? So is it better to show up in our Christmas best matching? Or is that hypocritical, and so we all need to show up wearing a different color? Who is even going to notice?
For the love. I have not had a full night of sleep since that dress arrived.
And I am sitting here with books and Bibles and devotions, trying to find something "right" to say. And I've got nothin'.
So I'm going to go back to the basics.
Why am I doing this? To make myself more dependent on God, and less dependent on the desires of my heart. Lysa Terkhurst said it best in her book What Happens when Women Say Yes to God: God wants to know if we're willing to give up what we love to Him who loves us more. He desires for us to open our fists and trust Him with absolutely everything.
Why do I want this dress for her? Because she will look cute in it, and I feel like we would look put together when we walk into church and she will also look great in pictures if she coordinates with her siblings. (And don't even act like you don't think about that when planning Christmas clothes.) Sarah Young wrote in Jesus Calling When you are around other people, you tend to cater to their expectation--real or imagined. You feel enslaved to pleasing them, and your awareness of My Presence grows dim. Your efforts to win their approval eventually exhaust you.
So what am I going to do with the dress? Honestly, I don't know. My heart is telling me that it needs to go back. My mind is picturing all the kids sitting in front of the Christmas tree, posing just right for that beloved 'Christmas 2013' picture and telling me to keep it.
It's a dress. It's not a big deal. I know, I get that.
But remember that It Matters to Me, and right now I am struggling.
I am going to look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always as Psalm 105:4 suggests I do, and I know that he will guide me and give me peace in this situation.
And hopefully a full night of sleep.
Please note that if you happen to see my youngest daughter in a leopard-print dress for Christmas this year, I would prefer grace over judgement.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Legacy
"Mommy, you add dis to my Chwistmas wist."
Take 2 steps.
"Mommy, you add dis to my Chwistmas wist."
Take maybe 4 more steps.
"Mommy, you add dis to my Chwistmas wist."
Our Target run was going to take a lot longer than I had anticipated at this rate.
My two year old was in no hurry, and completely enamored with all the toys that filled the aisles and spilled out onto the end caps as well.
Apparently I don't take her to the toy section at our local box store much, or it could be that we have one of the nations smallest box stores in our town. No worries though, we have the nation's largest working windmill, so it all balances out.
Our mission that night at Target was to find gifts to bless others with, but instead our kids were doing inventory of every aisle, leaving virtually no toys untouched. Keeping a mental list of all the things that they were sure they couldn't live without. And all the while my patience was wearing a bit thin. They all have lots of toys that go untouched for days, weeks, maybe even months on end, yet they are longing for more. For toys that are bigger and better and flashier and faster and have more bells and whistles than the ones they already have.
And it all becomes clear to me.
This is the legacy that I am leaving with my kids.
Now, I understand that it would be hard to find a child in the world who when taken to the toy section of a store would walk away without wanting something. But for me, what I have taught my kids, perhaps even engrained into them is that you don't need to be satisfied with what you have.
Feel free to long for more. You aren't happy with the selection of toys in the toy room? Then it is only right to get what you want. You don't like the shoes I bought for you for school that you have already worn and can't be returned? Well then let's go find some you do like. Oh, green isn't your favorite color anymore, now you like purple and you don't have any purple shirts? Well we should order some for you. There's a xBox game that everybody is playing and we don't have it? We need to get it. And on and on it goes.
What I have taught my kids is that happiness can always be bought for a certain price.
Matthew 5:5 says, "You're blessed when you're content with just who you are--no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought."
When my kids grow up and look back on their childhood years, I want them to remember a few things about me...how I was content in every situation, that I loved them no matter what they said or did, and how pretty my hair was.
Oh good grief, I'm just kidding about the last one. Sort of.
Please note that Target is awesome, and although I am going to do my best to avoid the mall this year when Christmas shopping, I will not try to avoid Target. I just can't handle a clothes fast and a Target fast at the same time.
Take 2 steps.
"Mommy, you add dis to my Chwistmas wist."
Take maybe 4 more steps.
"Mommy, you add dis to my Chwistmas wist."
Our Target run was going to take a lot longer than I had anticipated at this rate.
My two year old was in no hurry, and completely enamored with all the toys that filled the aisles and spilled out onto the end caps as well.
Apparently I don't take her to the toy section at our local box store much, or it could be that we have one of the nations smallest box stores in our town. No worries though, we have the nation's largest working windmill, so it all balances out.
Our mission that night at Target was to find gifts to bless others with, but instead our kids were doing inventory of every aisle, leaving virtually no toys untouched. Keeping a mental list of all the things that they were sure they couldn't live without. And all the while my patience was wearing a bit thin. They all have lots of toys that go untouched for days, weeks, maybe even months on end, yet they are longing for more. For toys that are bigger and better and flashier and faster and have more bells and whistles than the ones they already have.
And it all becomes clear to me.
This is the legacy that I am leaving with my kids.
Now, I understand that it would be hard to find a child in the world who when taken to the toy section of a store would walk away without wanting something. But for me, what I have taught my kids, perhaps even engrained into them is that you don't need to be satisfied with what you have.
Feel free to long for more. You aren't happy with the selection of toys in the toy room? Then it is only right to get what you want. You don't like the shoes I bought for you for school that you have already worn and can't be returned? Well then let's go find some you do like. Oh, green isn't your favorite color anymore, now you like purple and you don't have any purple shirts? Well we should order some for you. There's a xBox game that everybody is playing and we don't have it? We need to get it. And on and on it goes.
What I have taught my kids is that happiness can always be bought for a certain price.
Matthew 5:5 says, "You're blessed when you're content with just who you are--no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought."
When my kids grow up and look back on their childhood years, I want them to remember a few things about me...how I was content in every situation, that I loved them no matter what they said or did, and how pretty my hair was.
Oh good grief, I'm just kidding about the last one. Sort of.
Please note that Target is awesome, and although I am going to do my best to avoid the mall this year when Christmas shopping, I will not try to avoid Target. I just can't handle a clothes fast and a Target fast at the same time.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Delivery
You will never guess who just stopped at my house.
The UPS man.
You will never guess what he brought.
A package from The Children's Place.
Oh thank you Jesus. It is like water to a thirsty soul.
And here I sit staring at the package, and instead of feeling excited, I feel a little dirty. Like I don't even want to open it because if I do then I will not only feel like a failure, I will pry be one.
Now, the lines are a little blurry when it comes to buying clothes for the kids. It is a purchase that has to be approved by my man, and he has to see that it is something they need, not just something I want for them.
Why does my man need to approve it you ask? Because he provides a fresh pair of eyes in all of this. His eyes are God's tool right now. What I see as a need, he can clearly see as a want or a longing of my heart.
So I guess time will tell if I am able to keep the contents of the package, or if my man sees the items nearly as a product of my deceitful heart.
Jeremiah 17:9-10 boasts the following:
The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?
I the Lord search the heart
and examine the mind,
to reward a man according to his conduct,
according to what his deeds deserve.
My footnote puts it in easy-to-read form by saying "God makes it clear why we sin--it's a matter of the heart. Our hearts have been inclined toward sin from the time we were born. It is easy to fall into the routine of forgetting and forsaking God. But we can still choose whether or not to continue in sin. We can yield to a specific temptation, or we can ask God to help us resist temptation when it comes."
Crap.
I think I forgot to ask God to help me resist temptation when it came knocking. And now this package is sitting on my counter.
I went shopping with a good friend on Saturday, and felt like I did a great job of resisting temptation.
I had a few very specific things that I was looking for, including a black sweater for one girl, and Christmas dresses for the other two. I would also like to point out that the older 2 kids will be wearing "old" clothes for Christmas this year, so in my mind I am doing good by not insisting on new outfits for all 4.
What I came away with was 4 bags of adult women's clothes and one sweet little dress for Boo.
The other clothes was for my mom.
And she did need it. Especially after I went out there 3 weeks ago and made her donate a majority of her things to Bible for Missions Thrift Store.
Anyway, back to my Christmas clothes dilemma and the package sitting on my counter...
I read this little ditty in Seven over the weekend, and it hit home:
If a fast doesn't include any sacrifices, then it's not a fast. The discomfort is where the magic happens. Life zips along, unchecked and automatic. We default to our lifestyle, enjoying our privileges tra la la, but a fast interrupts that rote trajectory. Jesus gets a fresh platform in the empty space where indulgence resided. It's like jeans you wear every day without thinking, but take them off and walk outside, and you'll become terribly aware of their absence. I bet you won't be able to forget you are pantsless, so conspicuous will the omission feel. While that metaphor is in shaky theological territory, that is basically the result of a fast. It makes us hyper-aware, supersensitive to the Spirit.
Oh Jen Hatmaker, you said it so well.
When I was shopping on Saturday and my heart longed for the cutest little scarf(it would have looked super cute with the coat I wore today), or those sweet little cords that were on sale(I mean seriously, cords at J.Crew for $28!), or that sweater that I was sure would keep me warm in January in Iowa, I had to depend on the Spirit. And trust me, I did depend on the Spirit.
I so badly wanted to default to the way that I had been before I started this crazy fast. I wanted to walk into a store and without even thinking purchase an armful of shirts, pants, and accessories(oh yes ladies, according to my husband accessories are also forbidden). And although I did purchase some for my mom, I did not add any items to my own closet.
Jesus is staring to build a platform in my heart where shopping used to reside. Amen.
Please note that I will let you know what the "judge" says about the contents of the package on my counter. In the mean time, I need to give a little recognition to my man, his mom, and my friend Shalene for picking up the pieces last week when I was stuck at Jury Duty. You all did a fabulous job, and I could not have made it through the week (without shopping) if it were not for you!
The UPS man.
You will never guess what he brought.
A package from The Children's Place.
Oh thank you Jesus. It is like water to a thirsty soul.
And here I sit staring at the package, and instead of feeling excited, I feel a little dirty. Like I don't even want to open it because if I do then I will not only feel like a failure, I will pry be one.
Now, the lines are a little blurry when it comes to buying clothes for the kids. It is a purchase that has to be approved by my man, and he has to see that it is something they need, not just something I want for them.
Why does my man need to approve it you ask? Because he provides a fresh pair of eyes in all of this. His eyes are God's tool right now. What I see as a need, he can clearly see as a want or a longing of my heart.
So I guess time will tell if I am able to keep the contents of the package, or if my man sees the items nearly as a product of my deceitful heart.
Jeremiah 17:9-10 boasts the following:
The heart is deceitful above all things
and beyond cure.
Who can understand it?
I the Lord search the heart
and examine the mind,
to reward a man according to his conduct,
according to what his deeds deserve.
My footnote puts it in easy-to-read form by saying "God makes it clear why we sin--it's a matter of the heart. Our hearts have been inclined toward sin from the time we were born. It is easy to fall into the routine of forgetting and forsaking God. But we can still choose whether or not to continue in sin. We can yield to a specific temptation, or we can ask God to help us resist temptation when it comes."
Crap.
I think I forgot to ask God to help me resist temptation when it came knocking. And now this package is sitting on my counter.
I went shopping with a good friend on Saturday, and felt like I did a great job of resisting temptation.
I had a few very specific things that I was looking for, including a black sweater for one girl, and Christmas dresses for the other two. I would also like to point out that the older 2 kids will be wearing "old" clothes for Christmas this year, so in my mind I am doing good by not insisting on new outfits for all 4.
What I came away with was 4 bags of adult women's clothes and one sweet little dress for Boo.
The other clothes was for my mom.
And she did need it. Especially after I went out there 3 weeks ago and made her donate a majority of her things to Bible for Missions Thrift Store.
Anyway, back to my Christmas clothes dilemma and the package sitting on my counter...
I read this little ditty in Seven over the weekend, and it hit home:
If a fast doesn't include any sacrifices, then it's not a fast. The discomfort is where the magic happens. Life zips along, unchecked and automatic. We default to our lifestyle, enjoying our privileges tra la la, but a fast interrupts that rote trajectory. Jesus gets a fresh platform in the empty space where indulgence resided. It's like jeans you wear every day without thinking, but take them off and walk outside, and you'll become terribly aware of their absence. I bet you won't be able to forget you are pantsless, so conspicuous will the omission feel. While that metaphor is in shaky theological territory, that is basically the result of a fast. It makes us hyper-aware, supersensitive to the Spirit.
Oh Jen Hatmaker, you said it so well.
When I was shopping on Saturday and my heart longed for the cutest little scarf(it would have looked super cute with the coat I wore today), or those sweet little cords that were on sale(I mean seriously, cords at J.Crew for $28!), or that sweater that I was sure would keep me warm in January in Iowa, I had to depend on the Spirit. And trust me, I did depend on the Spirit.
I so badly wanted to default to the way that I had been before I started this crazy fast. I wanted to walk into a store and without even thinking purchase an armful of shirts, pants, and accessories(oh yes ladies, according to my husband accessories are also forbidden). And although I did purchase some for my mom, I did not add any items to my own closet.
Jesus is staring to build a platform in my heart where shopping used to reside. Amen.
Please note that I will let you know what the "judge" says about the contents of the package on my counter. In the mean time, I need to give a little recognition to my man, his mom, and my friend Shalene for picking up the pieces last week when I was stuck at Jury Duty. You all did a fabulous job, and I could not have made it through the week (without shopping) if it were not for you!
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Eyes to see
I turned the T.V. on this morning while I walked/jogged, and it didn't take long for me to see it.
Store after store, company after company boasting of their "Sale of the Year," or "Best Prices EVER," or "MEGA sale."
I was almost tempted to watch Dinosaur Train on IPTV, just so I didn't have to endure the commercials of network television anymore. Almost tempted.
When we think ahead to next week, there are many people who will be looking forward to seeing one thing, and one thing only next Thursday. And it isn't Aunt Bertha who smoothers you with musty old-lady kisses and leaves traces of bright cheap evidence on your cheek. It will be that ginormous paper that will greet you early Thanksgiving morning, the one that holds all the information about all of the "SALES OF THE YEAR" in one neat stack.
I am talking about the Black Friday Specials Paper, also known as the Special Thanksgiving Edition.
For those of you that look forward to Black Friday more than the birth of you child, don't click on that little 'x' in the corner of your screen yet, please hear me out.
As you know, I love to shop. And believe me, I love a good deal. In fact my mom and I braved Wal-Mart last year late on Thanksgiving Day, just to save $4.37 on a book and some plastic storage containers. Never Again.
Anywho, to each his own. And if you want to leave your Thanksgiving Dinner before the turkey is served, just to go stand in line for a great deal on some electronic that is only available for 31 minutes at a drastically reduced price and is obsolete the minute you walk out the door, knock yourself out.
I don't want to.
Instead this year I want my eyes to be searching for other kinds of "deals." Not the kind you will find at 10PM Thanksgiving night, and certainly not the kind that start at 3AM on Black Friday (I have discovered that I love sleep and my own sanity more than a bargain). The deals I am going to be looking for this year are the kind that allow me to consume for the sake of others.
For example, Crossroads of Pella offers 2 different ways to help others in the community, Toys for Tots and through their Adopt a Family for Christmas program. Both of which impact the community in a positive way.
Operation Christmas Child is a fun way to get your children involved by packing a shoebox full of goodies for a child or children who may not get another gift this year. Drop-off locations for that are available in lots of different towns or you can just pay to have the company pack a box for you.
Our church participates in Angel Tree which is a program designed to provide gifts for children whose parents are in prison.
World Vision has a great catalog available for ways to make an impact in third world countries. And if it's a deal you are looking for, you can buy 5 ducks for $35. I don't think Theisen's even has that good of prices.
And thatannoying little bell that rings when you are walking into Wal-Mart, the money that you pay to make it stop ringing goes to the Salvation Army and helps feed needy boys and girls.
Finally, one last place that our family is proud to support this year is Many Hands for Haiti. We basically love everything about this organization. It is run locally, so you know that when you send a check in, the money is going directly to the program. They also offer a little pamphlet full of gifts for the people in Haiti, including a Bible for $10, a soccer ball for $20, rice, homes, goats, healthcare and more. You can also sponsor a child through their Thrive for 5 program or their 180 for Haiti program. I double dog dare you not to fall in love with the faces of the sweet children you will see on their website. But they are not for sale, I already checked.
Maybe you don't have a lot of extra cash this year to give, but I would like to challenge you to turn what little or lots that you do have into something that will impact another human, rather than our friend Consumerism. Whether is with one of the above mentioned organizations or another great one.
And the best part about all the bargains I listed above is that quantities are not limited, you won't have to wait in line for hours to purchase them, and you can shop at your convenience...Black Friday cannot compete with that deal.
Please note that if you didn't like this post, you pry won't like the one I have brewing in my head based on the book "Christmas is Not Your Birthday". You may want to jump ship now while we are still friends.
Store after store, company after company boasting of their "Sale of the Year," or "Best Prices EVER," or "MEGA sale."
I was almost tempted to watch Dinosaur Train on IPTV, just so I didn't have to endure the commercials of network television anymore. Almost tempted.
When we think ahead to next week, there are many people who will be looking forward to seeing one thing, and one thing only next Thursday. And it isn't Aunt Bertha who smoothers you with musty old-lady kisses and leaves traces of bright cheap evidence on your cheek. It will be that ginormous paper that will greet you early Thanksgiving morning, the one that holds all the information about all of the "SALES OF THE YEAR" in one neat stack.
I am talking about the Black Friday Specials Paper, also known as the Special Thanksgiving Edition.
For those of you that look forward to Black Friday more than the birth of you child, don't click on that little 'x' in the corner of your screen yet, please hear me out.
As you know, I love to shop. And believe me, I love a good deal. In fact my mom and I braved Wal-Mart last year late on Thanksgiving Day, just to save $4.37 on a book and some plastic storage containers. Never Again.
Anywho, to each his own. And if you want to leave your Thanksgiving Dinner before the turkey is served, just to go stand in line for a great deal on some electronic that is only available for 31 minutes at a drastically reduced price and is obsolete the minute you walk out the door, knock yourself out.
I don't want to.
Instead this year I want my eyes to be searching for other kinds of "deals." Not the kind you will find at 10PM Thanksgiving night, and certainly not the kind that start at 3AM on Black Friday (I have discovered that I love sleep and my own sanity more than a bargain). The deals I am going to be looking for this year are the kind that allow me to consume for the sake of others.
For example, Crossroads of Pella offers 2 different ways to help others in the community, Toys for Tots and through their Adopt a Family for Christmas program. Both of which impact the community in a positive way.
Operation Christmas Child is a fun way to get your children involved by packing a shoebox full of goodies for a child or children who may not get another gift this year. Drop-off locations for that are available in lots of different towns or you can just pay to have the company pack a box for you.
Our church participates in Angel Tree which is a program designed to provide gifts for children whose parents are in prison.
World Vision has a great catalog available for ways to make an impact in third world countries. And if it's a deal you are looking for, you can buy 5 ducks for $35. I don't think Theisen's even has that good of prices.
And that
Finally, one last place that our family is proud to support this year is Many Hands for Haiti. We basically love everything about this organization. It is run locally, so you know that when you send a check in, the money is going directly to the program. They also offer a little pamphlet full of gifts for the people in Haiti, including a Bible for $10, a soccer ball for $20, rice, homes, goats, healthcare and more. You can also sponsor a child through their Thrive for 5 program or their 180 for Haiti program. I double dog dare you not to fall in love with the faces of the sweet children you will see on their website. But they are not for sale, I already checked.
Maybe you don't have a lot of extra cash this year to give, but I would like to challenge you to turn what little or lots that you do have into something that will impact another human, rather than our friend Consumerism. Whether is with one of the above mentioned organizations or another great one.
And the best part about all the bargains I listed above is that quantities are not limited, you won't have to wait in line for hours to purchase them, and you can shop at your convenience...Black Friday cannot compete with that deal.
Please note that if you didn't like this post, you pry won't like the one I have brewing in my head based on the book "Christmas is Not Your Birthday". You may want to jump ship now while we are still friends.
Monday, November 18, 2013
grace
We were just about ready to head out of the condo and down to our rental truck, just in time to catch our flight home, when my son reappeared at the condo door with all of our luggage still on the luggage cart.
Interesting, since he had gone down 10 minutes earlier to unload the luggage into the truck.
So I inquired why he was back, and he and my friend explained how he had accidentally dropped the car keys down the elevator shaft.
They were our only set of keys.
And I had to choose if I wanted to pass or fail the test.
...
My husband called at 5:55, telling me that he was stuck in a meeting late, and now instead of being home at 6:15, it would hopefully be no later than 7:30. It had been a long day with the kids, and there was still homework to be done, piano to be practiced, showers to be taken, and a bedtime routine to make it through.
And I had to choose if I wanted to pass or fail the test.
...
The juror that I had been sitting by in the Jury Room for 3 days was telling anyone that would listen how wonderful he was. Anything that I said, he had to one-up me. And he would not stop talking.
And I had to choose if I wanted to pass or fail the test.
...
The pizza man was at least 30 minutes late. We had some friends over, and the longer it took him to deliver the pizza, the more impatient I became. He finally showed up, without any sort of explanation, and luke-warm pizza.
And I had to choose if I wanted to pass or fail the test.
Each day when I get in the shower(sorry for the visual), I read this on my body wash bottle:
life is a classroom. we are both student and teacher. each day is a test. and each day we receive a passing or failing grade in one particular subject: grace. grace is compassion, gratitude, surrender, faith, forgiveness, good manners and reverence. being the smartest, the prettiest, the most talented, the richest or ever the poorest can't help. being a humble person can, and being a helpful person can guide you through your days with grace and gratitude.
And so daily I am reminded of the test that I have the chance to pass or fail.
I don't know about you, but in high school when the teacher was passing back tests, it felt way better to get an "A", even an "A-", than it did to get a "F".
And I wish that I could say that in all of the stories above I did pass the test.
But I didn't.
I fail often at extending grace to my kids, expecting them to act and behave near perfectly all the time...you never know who is watching.
And boy am I stingy with my grace when it comes to my husband. If he walks in the door from work any minute past 6:15pm, he will be able to tell by my body language that I am not pleased...too bad physical touch is his love language.
The pizza delivery man, my fellow juror, my old neighbor with the barking dog, my good friend who forgets my birthday, and anybody else who may not meet my expectations may not receive the grace that I am called to give.
Grace, according to my bible, means God's free and unmerited favor for sinful humanity.
We hear the word often.
At our wedding, my cousins sang a Phillips, Craig & Dean song, talking about God's grace falling on us from His hands.
Maybe the term I am actually looking for is gracious, meaning of a merciful or compassionate nature; kind.
Yep, that's what I'm talking about.
That's what I long to be...full of mercy, compassion, and kindness.
And daily I long to pass the test.
Please note that I'm really not that bad of a person to live with...I don't think.
Interesting, since he had gone down 10 minutes earlier to unload the luggage into the truck.
So I inquired why he was back, and he and my friend explained how he had accidentally dropped the car keys down the elevator shaft.
They were our only set of keys.
And I had to choose if I wanted to pass or fail the test.
...
My husband called at 5:55, telling me that he was stuck in a meeting late, and now instead of being home at 6:15, it would hopefully be no later than 7:30. It had been a long day with the kids, and there was still homework to be done, piano to be practiced, showers to be taken, and a bedtime routine to make it through.
And I had to choose if I wanted to pass or fail the test.
...
The juror that I had been sitting by in the Jury Room for 3 days was telling anyone that would listen how wonderful he was. Anything that I said, he had to one-up me. And he would not stop talking.
And I had to choose if I wanted to pass or fail the test.
...
The pizza man was at least 30 minutes late. We had some friends over, and the longer it took him to deliver the pizza, the more impatient I became. He finally showed up, without any sort of explanation, and luke-warm pizza.
And I had to choose if I wanted to pass or fail the test.
Each day when I get in the shower(sorry for the visual), I read this on my body wash bottle:
life is a classroom. we are both student and teacher. each day is a test. and each day we receive a passing or failing grade in one particular subject: grace. grace is compassion, gratitude, surrender, faith, forgiveness, good manners and reverence. being the smartest, the prettiest, the most talented, the richest or ever the poorest can't help. being a humble person can, and being a helpful person can guide you through your days with grace and gratitude.
And so daily I am reminded of the test that I have the chance to pass or fail.
I don't know about you, but in high school when the teacher was passing back tests, it felt way better to get an "A", even an "A-", than it did to get a "F".
And I wish that I could say that in all of the stories above I did pass the test.
But I didn't.
I fail often at extending grace to my kids, expecting them to act and behave near perfectly all the time...you never know who is watching.
And boy am I stingy with my grace when it comes to my husband. If he walks in the door from work any minute past 6:15pm, he will be able to tell by my body language that I am not pleased...too bad physical touch is his love language.
The pizza delivery man, my fellow juror, my old neighbor with the barking dog, my good friend who forgets my birthday, and anybody else who may not meet my expectations may not receive the grace that I am called to give.
Grace, according to my bible, means God's free and unmerited favor for sinful humanity.
We hear the word often.
At our wedding, my cousins sang a Phillips, Craig & Dean song, talking about God's grace falling on us from His hands.
Maybe the term I am actually looking for is gracious, meaning of a merciful or compassionate nature; kind.
Yep, that's what I'm talking about.
That's what I long to be...full of mercy, compassion, and kindness.
And daily I long to pass the test.
Please note that I'm really not that bad of a person to live with...I don't think.
Friday, November 15, 2013
Keep Making Me
I am just blown away by the amount of encouraging words and support I have gotten over the last few weeks.
You all rock.
Zach's Aunt, or my aunt-in-law, or whatever you call that, has been so uplifting. She sent me this song, and I love it. It has become my prayer, and will continue to be even after this is all said and done.
Please enjoy.
Keep Making Me
You all rock.
Zach's Aunt, or my aunt-in-law, or whatever you call that, has been so uplifting. She sent me this song, and I love it. It has become my prayer, and will continue to be even after this is all said and done.
Please enjoy.
Keep Making Me
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Testing. Testing. 1-2-3.
So I have to start out tonight by thanking whoever it was that prayed peace upon my day.
It worked.
I woke up feeling a whole lot of wonderful today, and it last all day and well into my night. A welcome change from how I was feeling last night at this time.
So, now that I have that out of the way, I have to come clean.
I went to the mall today...and Target.
After fulfilling my civil duty for another day, I wanted to quick make a few returns to the mall.
Easy in, easy out I thought. Make my returns and be on my way.
So I first entered Scheel's, made my return, and left the store with a toddler pair of mittens and a bag of licorice (don't judge me, if you had been locked up in a room all day you would want some too. And they have THE best licorice. Ever.) I don't think I needed husband approval for the mittens, they are necessary in Iowa unless you want to be down a few phalanges come spring.
My next stop was my bff GAP.
If only GAP lived next door to Scheel's, then my life would have been much easier.
I passed by New York and Company and one glance at the cute dresses hanging in the front of the store told me that I was about to walk into the eye of the storm.
Next I strolled by J.Crew, where the lifeless mannequins in the window were literally chanting my name.
"Lindsay. Lindsay. Lindsay."
Oh be quite you cute overpriced sweater and skinny jeans that I could maybe fit one leg into and leopard print booties. You aren't even cute any more. And that skirt you have hanging beside you for my daughter is just, just, ugly.
I had to keep walking before I got ugly.
Then, there was GAP, embracing me with arms wide open. Like it had been waiting for my arrival all day.
It was full of plaid shirts that my man would look so yummy in. I had to touch just one. Or two. Ok, you weren't there, so you can't confirm or deny how many I touched(can you tell who I have been listening to for 2 days?)
Anyway, I made it to the counter to do my return without getting too many odd looks from the employees. Did my return, and walked through the doorway to GAP Kids for my next transaction.
There are not blinders big enough to block out all of the holiday cuteness that was happening in GAP Kids.
The clerk helped me find the shirt that I was there to exchange, and asked if that was all I needed.
Loaded answer lady, do you really want me to get started?
No, that isn't all I need. I need that cute little pink dress for my daughter because she would look so sweet in it. Holden doesn't think he needs more shirts, but that one over there has a truck on it, and he likes trucks, so he should have that. And those fuzzy pi's are just too cute, so I would like those wrapped up for my daughter....
What I really told her was that I was on a 6-month shopping fast, so yes, the shirt was all I could get. She thought I was being punished, until I told her that I volunteered for the position. Then she told me about how some ladies from Pella had been there the day before and had just a great time spending all sorts of money.
Good for them. Now give me my shirt so I can go wallow in self-pity a bit.
On my way out, I decided to just bee-line it for the door. I needed fresh air, needed to get away from all the temptations.
Left the mall with a bag of licorice, mittens, and an exchanged shirt and sent this text to my husband:
I HATE this clothes fast.
("hate" is a vinegar-on-the-tongue-word at our house, so don't let my kids know that I used it. That would be hypocritical.)
Next stop: Target.
Ugh. I felt like I was just setting myself up for failure with that one.
I went in, told the service counter workers that I needed to exchange a pair of shoes, and headed back to the shoes. On the way back I may or may not have also walked through the kids clothes. And I may or may not have had a few articles of clothing in my hands at some point for #2 & #4(sometimes we refer to our kids by number, it's just easier when there are twice as many of them as there are parents. And honestly, they will pry need therapy someday anyway, so we are just giving them more to talk about.)
Ok, I put all the clothes back, they didn't have the shoes I needed, so I returned them and headed out to my truck.
Walking through the parking lot I had a little chat with my Jesus...asking him for something good to come out of what I am doing.
I am happy to report that I held strong today, and I want to leave you with this verse that a friend shared with me the other day. It is spot-on.
Why is everyone hungry for more? "More, more," they say.
"More, more."
I have God's more-than-enough,
More joy in one ordinary day
Than they get in all their shopping sprees.
At days end I'm ready for sound sleep,
For you, God, have put my life back together.
Psalms 4:6-8, The Message
Please note that if you are crazy enough to do this with me, don't be surprised when people look at you like you have an arm growing out your head when you explain what you're doing. I have had that exact reaction twice now. It's fun.
It worked.
I woke up feeling a whole lot of wonderful today, and it last all day and well into my night. A welcome change from how I was feeling last night at this time.
So, now that I have that out of the way, I have to come clean.
I went to the mall today...and Target.
After fulfilling my civil duty for another day, I wanted to quick make a few returns to the mall.
Easy in, easy out I thought. Make my returns and be on my way.
So I first entered Scheel's, made my return, and left the store with a toddler pair of mittens and a bag of licorice (don't judge me, if you had been locked up in a room all day you would want some too. And they have THE best licorice. Ever.) I don't think I needed husband approval for the mittens, they are necessary in Iowa unless you want to be down a few phalanges come spring.
My next stop was my bff GAP.
If only GAP lived next door to Scheel's, then my life would have been much easier.
I passed by New York and Company and one glance at the cute dresses hanging in the front of the store told me that I was about to walk into the eye of the storm.
Next I strolled by J.Crew, where the lifeless mannequins in the window were literally chanting my name.
"Lindsay. Lindsay. Lindsay."
Oh be quite you cute overpriced sweater and skinny jeans that I could maybe fit one leg into and leopard print booties. You aren't even cute any more. And that skirt you have hanging beside you for my daughter is just, just, ugly.
I had to keep walking before I got ugly.
Then, there was GAP, embracing me with arms wide open. Like it had been waiting for my arrival all day.
It was full of plaid shirts that my man would look so yummy in. I had to touch just one. Or two. Ok, you weren't there, so you can't confirm or deny how many I touched(can you tell who I have been listening to for 2 days?)
Anyway, I made it to the counter to do my return without getting too many odd looks from the employees. Did my return, and walked through the doorway to GAP Kids for my next transaction.
There are not blinders big enough to block out all of the holiday cuteness that was happening in GAP Kids.
The clerk helped me find the shirt that I was there to exchange, and asked if that was all I needed.
Loaded answer lady, do you really want me to get started?
No, that isn't all I need. I need that cute little pink dress for my daughter because she would look so sweet in it. Holden doesn't think he needs more shirts, but that one over there has a truck on it, and he likes trucks, so he should have that. And those fuzzy pi's are just too cute, so I would like those wrapped up for my daughter....
What I really told her was that I was on a 6-month shopping fast, so yes, the shirt was all I could get. She thought I was being punished, until I told her that I volunteered for the position. Then she told me about how some ladies from Pella had been there the day before and had just a great time spending all sorts of money.
Good for them. Now give me my shirt so I can go wallow in self-pity a bit.
On my way out, I decided to just bee-line it for the door. I needed fresh air, needed to get away from all the temptations.
Left the mall with a bag of licorice, mittens, and an exchanged shirt and sent this text to my husband:
I HATE this clothes fast.
("hate" is a vinegar-on-the-tongue-word at our house, so don't let my kids know that I used it. That would be hypocritical.)
Next stop: Target.
Ugh. I felt like I was just setting myself up for failure with that one.
I went in, told the service counter workers that I needed to exchange a pair of shoes, and headed back to the shoes. On the way back I may or may not have also walked through the kids clothes. And I may or may not have had a few articles of clothing in my hands at some point for #2 & #4(sometimes we refer to our kids by number, it's just easier when there are twice as many of them as there are parents. And honestly, they will pry need therapy someday anyway, so we are just giving them more to talk about.)
Ok, I put all the clothes back, they didn't have the shoes I needed, so I returned them and headed out to my truck.
Walking through the parking lot I had a little chat with my Jesus...asking him for something good to come out of what I am doing.
I am happy to report that I held strong today, and I want to leave you with this verse that a friend shared with me the other day. It is spot-on.
Why is everyone hungry for more? "More, more," they say.
"More, more."
I have God's more-than-enough,
More joy in one ordinary day
Than they get in all their shopping sprees.
At days end I'm ready for sound sleep,
For you, God, have put my life back together.
Psalms 4:6-8, The Message
Please note that if you are crazy enough to do this with me, don't be surprised when people look at you like you have an arm growing out your head when you explain what you're doing. I have had that exact reaction twice now. It's fun.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Pick me, pick me!
Remember when you were in grade school and all the cool kids were lined up ready to play an intense game of kickball? The captains had been chosen, and now it was time to pick their teams. And you longed to hear your name.
Pick me! Pick me!
You wait and wait and finally your name is announced loud and clear. And you breathe a sigh of relief, because you are chosen. Maybe even sought after perhaps. The captain wanted you on his team because he knew you could help the team get a big win.
(Now this would be a great time in my post to talk about being on God's team, and how he has chosen you, yada, yada, yada...but I'm not going that direction tonight. I have other things on my mind.)
Today I was sitting in a Federal Courtroom and I heard it. I heard my name announced and I gathered my jacket, purse and complimentary "jury appreciation bag"(because they really do appreciate us) and made my way to a juror chair.
A while later I heard my name again, and found myself among the "elite" 14 people chosen to sit on the jury for a federal case.
That's all I can say about that.
A bottle of water, lots of mints, a few recesses and 4 hours later I was on my way home. Granted, it was about 2 hours earlier than I was expecting, so that was, well, nice. But by the time I got home all I could think about was the day that had been lost sitting in a courtroom, rather than rocking and playing with my 2 littles.
I was home in time to give my oldest daughter a kiss before she was off to gymnastics.
Then we quick ran home so I could change out of my jury-wear into my mommy-wear.
The ground beef that was supposed to be a main ingredient for dinner was still in the fridge frozen. Not sure what it had been doing the last 24 hours, but it certainly wasn't thawing itself in there. Anyway, quick browned that so that we could have dinner while Holden plunked through piano, recited memory work, and tried his best to memorize spelling words.
Loaded up the 2 littles and dropped Boo off at dance...sorry, her real name is Breckyn, but out of habit you will pry see me refer to her as Boo more often than not. That is just the way it is. Deal with it.
After my ballerina was settled into her pink ballet shoes and twirling to the beat of her own drum, I headed off to pick up Emerson from gymnastics, which she has proclaimed, for today, is not her thing.
Fabulous. Find yourself child and let me know what your "thing" is. I will be happy to run you all over creation while we try figure out "who you are".
And before I head home I head back to pick up my little dancer.
I tried praying all of my anxiety away on the way home from my own carpool, but I got behind somebody driving slow. Like speed limit slow.
Listen sir, they won't pull you over for going a little faster than the suggested number, and I have a sleep deprived hungry toddler in the back. Move it.
We arrived home just in time to inhale a mound of spaghetti before turning to reading, piano, showers and bedtime.
And all the while I am trying to figure out how to get myself and 4 kids packed for a trip that is supposed to happen Thursday with some friends...thanks to the privilege of doing my civil duty, that trip is now, well, on the fritz.
If you happened to see me tonight, I think you would be able to confirm what I am about to tell you:
I. was. overwhelmed.
Seriously, I have no clue how moms with full-time jobs balance it all.
If you work outside the home at all, and have kids, and maintain a normal blood pressure, you are my new hero. H-E-R-O.
I am a homebody. Always have been.
In college I lasted all of 4 months before the homesickness set in so bad that I would cry at least 1 hour of the 5 hour car ride back to college. The next year I transferred to Central College, which was all of 10 blocks from home.
I long to be home. I am comfortable there. My house is my turf, and I can be myself there.
So to be gone all day, only to head home to a sea of madness, felt a little stressful to me.
So hats off to all of you that do this work-kids-home balance better than me, you are amazing women.
The good news is that when I get up tomorrow and head back to my assigned juror seat, God's mercies will be new, and He will see me through.
Please note this post had nothing to do with my fast, unless you consider the fact that I was tempted to head west to the mall instead of east towards Pella out of the jury parking lot . A new shirt would have soothed my stressed soul. I am just sure of it.
Pick me! Pick me!
You wait and wait and finally your name is announced loud and clear. And you breathe a sigh of relief, because you are chosen. Maybe even sought after perhaps. The captain wanted you on his team because he knew you could help the team get a big win.
(Now this would be a great time in my post to talk about being on God's team, and how he has chosen you, yada, yada, yada...but I'm not going that direction tonight. I have other things on my mind.)
Today I was sitting in a Federal Courtroom and I heard it. I heard my name announced and I gathered my jacket, purse and complimentary "jury appreciation bag"(because they really do appreciate us) and made my way to a juror chair.
A while later I heard my name again, and found myself among the "elite" 14 people chosen to sit on the jury for a federal case.
That's all I can say about that.
A bottle of water, lots of mints, a few recesses and 4 hours later I was on my way home. Granted, it was about 2 hours earlier than I was expecting, so that was, well, nice. But by the time I got home all I could think about was the day that had been lost sitting in a courtroom, rather than rocking and playing with my 2 littles.
I was home in time to give my oldest daughter a kiss before she was off to gymnastics.
Then we quick ran home so I could change out of my jury-wear into my mommy-wear.
The ground beef that was supposed to be a main ingredient for dinner was still in the fridge frozen. Not sure what it had been doing the last 24 hours, but it certainly wasn't thawing itself in there. Anyway, quick browned that so that we could have dinner while Holden plunked through piano, recited memory work, and tried his best to memorize spelling words.
Loaded up the 2 littles and dropped Boo off at dance...sorry, her real name is Breckyn, but out of habit you will pry see me refer to her as Boo more often than not. That is just the way it is. Deal with it.
After my ballerina was settled into her pink ballet shoes and twirling to the beat of her own drum, I headed off to pick up Emerson from gymnastics, which she has proclaimed, for today, is not her thing.
Fabulous. Find yourself child and let me know what your "thing" is. I will be happy to run you all over creation while we try figure out "who you are".
And before I head home I head back to pick up my little dancer.
I tried praying all of my anxiety away on the way home from my own carpool, but I got behind somebody driving slow. Like speed limit slow.
Listen sir, they won't pull you over for going a little faster than the suggested number, and I have a sleep deprived hungry toddler in the back. Move it.
We arrived home just in time to inhale a mound of spaghetti before turning to reading, piano, showers and bedtime.
And all the while I am trying to figure out how to get myself and 4 kids packed for a trip that is supposed to happen Thursday with some friends...thanks to the privilege of doing my civil duty, that trip is now, well, on the fritz.
If you happened to see me tonight, I think you would be able to confirm what I am about to tell you:
I. was. overwhelmed.
Seriously, I have no clue how moms with full-time jobs balance it all.
If you work outside the home at all, and have kids, and maintain a normal blood pressure, you are my new hero. H-E-R-O.
I am a homebody. Always have been.
In college I lasted all of 4 months before the homesickness set in so bad that I would cry at least 1 hour of the 5 hour car ride back to college. The next year I transferred to Central College, which was all of 10 blocks from home.
I long to be home. I am comfortable there. My house is my turf, and I can be myself there.
So to be gone all day, only to head home to a sea of madness, felt a little stressful to me.
So hats off to all of you that do this work-kids-home balance better than me, you are amazing women.
The good news is that when I get up tomorrow and head back to my assigned juror seat, God's mercies will be new, and He will see me through.
Please note this post had nothing to do with my fast, unless you consider the fact that I was tempted to head west to the mall instead of east towards Pella out of the jury parking lot . A new shirt would have soothed my stressed soul. I am just sure of it.
Monday, November 11, 2013
It Matters to Me
"To discover what matters to you, take it away and see where the chips actually fall."
Jen Hatmaker, Seven
I am reading Jen's book when I came across that line.
And I love it.
Over the last week I have heard and talked to a lot...ok, maybe it's just a few people who have decided to join me on this journey for one reason or another.
And I love it.
But at the same time, I don't want people to feel like they have to participate...like they have to feel guilty if they go and buy new clothes for themselves...guilty if they splurge and buy matching Hanna Andersson pj's for the whole family...guilty if they get online and order a whole new wardrobe from J.Crew.
I am doing this because I felt God telling me, leading me to do this.
For my husband, the idea of not being able to buy new clothes for 6 months wouldn't be difficult. But if I told him that he had to give up his iPhone or computer for a month, he would probably die. Literally die.
For my mom, if she had to give up sugar for 6 months she would more than likely start eating her grandkids...because they are so sweet. But she would do a happy dance if I told her that she couldn't go shopping for 6 months, and since she doesn't even own a cell phone(For real. And I do think that she is the only person over the age 10 that doesn't own one) she wouldn't be affected by doing life without it for a set period of time.
My point is this: what matters to you? What do you turn to when life gets out of control? What, besides God, holds a place in your heart and makes you feel excited when you think about it? What would make you squirm if it was taken away? What holds your thoughts captive, like you can't go on until you have it?
For some, it's technology. For others, it's food. For others, it's earthly possessions.
For me, it's shopping for clothes.
Please note that I hope that I haven't made all of my faithful followers mad with this post! Eek! I just don't want anybody guilt-tripped into doing this with me! Because let's be honest, if one of you were doing something like this, I might cheer you on, but I pry would not hop on board.
Jen Hatmaker, Seven
I am reading Jen's book when I came across that line.
And I love it.
Over the last week I have heard and talked to a lot...ok, maybe it's just a few people who have decided to join me on this journey for one reason or another.
And I love it.
But at the same time, I don't want people to feel like they have to participate...like they have to feel guilty if they go and buy new clothes for themselves...guilty if they splurge and buy matching Hanna Andersson pj's for the whole family...guilty if they get online and order a whole new wardrobe from J.Crew.
I am doing this because I felt God telling me, leading me to do this.
For my husband, the idea of not being able to buy new clothes for 6 months wouldn't be difficult. But if I told him that he had to give up his iPhone or computer for a month, he would probably die. Literally die.
For my mom, if she had to give up sugar for 6 months she would more than likely start eating her grandkids...because they are so sweet. But she would do a happy dance if I told her that she couldn't go shopping for 6 months, and since she doesn't even own a cell phone(For real. And I do think that she is the only person over the age 10 that doesn't own one) she wouldn't be affected by doing life without it for a set period of time.
My point is this: what matters to you? What do you turn to when life gets out of control? What, besides God, holds a place in your heart and makes you feel excited when you think about it? What would make you squirm if it was taken away? What holds your thoughts captive, like you can't go on until you have it?
For some, it's technology. For others, it's food. For others, it's earthly possessions.
For me, it's shopping for clothes.
Please note that I hope that I haven't made all of my faithful followers mad with this post! Eek! I just don't want anybody guilt-tripped into doing this with me! Because let's be honest, if one of you were doing something like this, I might cheer you on, but I pry would not hop on board.
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Q&A #1
So I have been on this little journey for just over a week now, and it seems like every time I go out I run into somebody that has a question about this little adventure. I thought I would take a little time to answer a few of those questions tonight.
First of all, some of you are wondering what the parameters of this fast includes.
Thankfully it does not include desserts...that is only thing getting me through these days. Good news, after I get over my clothes shopping crutch I will have a new one to get rid of: sugar.
It does include spending any money on clothes for myself.
I am allowed to spend money on clothes for the kids, but it has to be husband-approved. That was the 2nd craziest thing I ever agreed to. Seriously.
I am convinced that this phantom woman that Zach said did this 6-month challenge successfully is nonexistent. It's all a hoax and I am calling his bluff.
But I am sticking to the deal.
Next, a few of you have asked how the first week went.
Well, let me be honest...it stunk.
I miss my UPS man. I miss that feeling that I get when I find a cute little something to soothe my weary wardrobe. I miss spending the quiet moments of my day with my bff's at GAP. I miss showing up to a meeting wearing my latest find.
But it's all good. I only have 5 months and 2 1/2 weeks to go...ugh.
Finally, some of you have asked what I have learned so far.
Well, a lot.
I feel like God has opened up doors for conversations that wouldn't have happened prior to this adventure.
I feel God speaking to me and uplifting me all throughout my day. I look for Him now in everything. Every sermon. Every devotion. Every book. Every song. Every conversation. And I am convinced that this is what He has called me to do right now. Even if it isn't fun.
I have learned that as happy as it makes me to rip a tag off of a new shirt, it makes me even happier to think about what I can do with that money to bless others.
Instead of spending my time searching websites for cute little dresses, I spend my time reading books and playing games with my kids.
Instead of worrying about what my kids are going to wear for the Christmas program, and if they are going to match, or if we have the right hair bow to make them look just right, I think about how I can teach them to be content with the clothes in their closet and help them(my girls especially) remember that beauty doesn't lie in coordinating outfits and hair bows, but rather their inner-beauty.
I have learned that obedience to God feels so good.
Please note that I just needed a day to vent. As hard as this is going to be for me, and as much as I have to fight feelings of jealousy when I see somebody wearing something super cute and new, I am convinced that if I don't lose my mind in the process, I will have new eyes by the end of this.
First of all, some of you are wondering what the parameters of this fast includes.
Thankfully it does not include desserts...that is only thing getting me through these days. Good news, after I get over my clothes shopping crutch I will have a new one to get rid of: sugar.
It does include spending any money on clothes for myself.
I am allowed to spend money on clothes for the kids, but it has to be husband-approved. That was the 2nd craziest thing I ever agreed to. Seriously.
I am convinced that this phantom woman that Zach said did this 6-month challenge successfully is nonexistent. It's all a hoax and I am calling his bluff.
But I am sticking to the deal.
Next, a few of you have asked how the first week went.
Well, let me be honest...it stunk.
I miss my UPS man. I miss that feeling that I get when I find a cute little something to soothe my weary wardrobe. I miss spending the quiet moments of my day with my bff's at GAP. I miss showing up to a meeting wearing my latest find.
But it's all good. I only have 5 months and 2 1/2 weeks to go...ugh.
Finally, some of you have asked what I have learned so far.
Well, a lot.
I feel like God has opened up doors for conversations that wouldn't have happened prior to this adventure.
I feel God speaking to me and uplifting me all throughout my day. I look for Him now in everything. Every sermon. Every devotion. Every book. Every song. Every conversation. And I am convinced that this is what He has called me to do right now. Even if it isn't fun.
I have learned that as happy as it makes me to rip a tag off of a new shirt, it makes me even happier to think about what I can do with that money to bless others.
Instead of spending my time searching websites for cute little dresses, I spend my time reading books and playing games with my kids.
Instead of worrying about what my kids are going to wear for the Christmas program, and if they are going to match, or if we have the right hair bow to make them look just right, I think about how I can teach them to be content with the clothes in their closet and help them(my girls especially) remember that beauty doesn't lie in coordinating outfits and hair bows, but rather their inner-beauty.
I have learned that obedience to God feels so good.
Please note that I just needed a day to vent. As hard as this is going to be for me, and as much as I have to fight feelings of jealousy when I see somebody wearing something super cute and new, I am convinced that if I don't lose my mind in the process, I will have new eyes by the end of this.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Piano
When I was a little girl I took piano lessons for what felt like 20 years. I'm thinking it felt like closer to 30 years for my mom who had to endure hours of practice and carpools to make it happen.
And now Holden, my 9 year old son, and Emerson, my 7 year old daughter, are both taking lessons.
If you take only one thing away from this post, make sure it's this: 2 kids in level 1 piano at the same time is NOT a good idea. For real.
Proceed.
So a lot of the songs they play are songs that I don't really know, not familiar to me. But a couple weeks ago Holden had to play the song "Bill Grogan's Goat." It's a catchy tune and before long we were having a little sing-along. Oh to be a fly on the wall then!
Emerson has mastered "Ode to Joy," which I have seriously put a ban on at my house. The next child that plays that song is going to be doing dishes and laundry and cleaning for the rest of their life under my roof. They understood the threat and have taken it to heart. "Ode to Joy" is a thing of the past, and they have both moved on.
That said, the songs keep getting a little harder each week, which isn't always well received. Emerson would prefer to just sit down and play a little ditty without having to practice. Reality child is that God did not bless you with that gift, so sit down and practice.
So this morning she sat down to practice...and practice...and practice. I could feel myself getting a little frustrated, and often heard myself telling her to read her music. I reminded her that if she would keep her eyes on her music and follow what it says she wouldn't be getting frustrated, and it wouldn't be as hard.
Then I went for a walk(perhaps to cool down, perhaps for exercise, it doesn't really matter). And I found myself dwelling on the events of the morning and how often I had reminded Emerson to keep her eyes on her music, to read it so she could move from plunking a song out note for note, to playing a song as the writer intended it to sound.
And it hit me.
Life is a lot like playing the piano. The better we are at reading our music(God's word), the better we will be able to play(live this life) our song the way the writer(God) wants it to be.
I'm not saying that reading God's word makes this life easier...I know many people who are so close to God, and know His word well, yet deal with hardships.
But what I am saying is that in order to live a life for God, we have to know Him. Walk with Him. Play with Him. Listen to Him. Read His word. Follow what His word says. So that when we hit a wrong note, we will have a place to turn, and somebody to tell us how to fix the broken music.
I have spent the last few days at the hospital with my parents. My dad was having severe headaches, dizziness, and vomiting. And when that dark cloud was hanging over our family on Thursday, when we didn't know what the next line of the song looked like or sounded like, I was so happy that I knew the one who was composing my dad's song.
We left the hospital yesterday with a lot of unanswered questions, but a lot of the big bad scary things have been ruled out. Thank you Jesus! And all I felt was a sense of hope and peace. Hope for the next line of the song, and peace that God already has it written.
Please note that I love it that my kids are learning to play piano, even if it takes every last bit of patience to get them through it. And I love it that when I told Holden he could quit he tapped into his stubborn side and overcame. And I think their teacher is great, especially because she doesn't yell at me when they fall short of their expected practices in a week!
And now Holden, my 9 year old son, and Emerson, my 7 year old daughter, are both taking lessons.
If you take only one thing away from this post, make sure it's this: 2 kids in level 1 piano at the same time is NOT a good idea. For real.
Proceed.
So a lot of the songs they play are songs that I don't really know, not familiar to me. But a couple weeks ago Holden had to play the song "Bill Grogan's Goat." It's a catchy tune and before long we were having a little sing-along. Oh to be a fly on the wall then!
Emerson has mastered "Ode to Joy," which I have seriously put a ban on at my house. The next child that plays that song is going to be doing dishes and laundry and cleaning for the rest of their life under my roof. They understood the threat and have taken it to heart. "Ode to Joy" is a thing of the past, and they have both moved on.
That said, the songs keep getting a little harder each week, which isn't always well received. Emerson would prefer to just sit down and play a little ditty without having to practice. Reality child is that God did not bless you with that gift, so sit down and practice.
So this morning she sat down to practice...and practice...and practice. I could feel myself getting a little frustrated, and often heard myself telling her to read her music. I reminded her that if she would keep her eyes on her music and follow what it says she wouldn't be getting frustrated, and it wouldn't be as hard.
Then I went for a walk(perhaps to cool down, perhaps for exercise, it doesn't really matter). And I found myself dwelling on the events of the morning and how often I had reminded Emerson to keep her eyes on her music, to read it so she could move from plunking a song out note for note, to playing a song as the writer intended it to sound.
And it hit me.
Life is a lot like playing the piano. The better we are at reading our music(God's word), the better we will be able to play(live this life) our song the way the writer(God) wants it to be.
I'm not saying that reading God's word makes this life easier...I know many people who are so close to God, and know His word well, yet deal with hardships.
But what I am saying is that in order to live a life for God, we have to know Him. Walk with Him. Play with Him. Listen to Him. Read His word. Follow what His word says. So that when we hit a wrong note, we will have a place to turn, and somebody to tell us how to fix the broken music.
I have spent the last few days at the hospital with my parents. My dad was having severe headaches, dizziness, and vomiting. And when that dark cloud was hanging over our family on Thursday, when we didn't know what the next line of the song looked like or sounded like, I was so happy that I knew the one who was composing my dad's song.
We left the hospital yesterday with a lot of unanswered questions, but a lot of the big bad scary things have been ruled out. Thank you Jesus! And all I felt was a sense of hope and peace. Hope for the next line of the song, and peace that God already has it written.
Please note that I love it that my kids are learning to play piano, even if it takes every last bit of patience to get them through it. And I love it that when I told Holden he could quit he tapped into his stubborn side and overcame. And I think their teacher is great, especially because she doesn't yell at me when they fall short of their expected practices in a week!
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
(ken tent'), adj.
I read this verse this morning from Philippians 4:12:
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
And I have been thinking about this verse ever since.
Part of this verse I can relate to, the part that talks about knowing what it is to have plenty. But then I wonder if I have learned the secret of being content in ANY and EVERY situation...hmm.
Well, let's see. I am pretty sure that when I look around me I see a house that has enough room for a family of 6 and all the stuff that comes with it.
If we're being honest, I pry won't have to go a day without clothes to wear, even if I don't buy anything new for the next 5 month and 25 days(but who's counting!?!?!)
Last time I wanted something to eat all I had to do was get up and walk across the room to find a buffet of choices in my kitchen.
As the rain is falling outside I am sitting in a warm, dry chair.
I drive a very reliable vehicle.
I have 4 healthy kids.
A husband who loves me.
Friends that I can call on my regular phone, or cell phone, or I can FaceTime them, or send them a message of FaceBook, or an e-mail.
And I could go on. My point is this: I AM LIVING IN PLENTY, yet I choose to not be content.
According to my dictionary, the word 'content' means satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.
And I just failed that test.
So many times during the day I choose to be unsatisfied with what I have. I long for more when what I have right in front of me isn't making me happy any longer.
If my house was clean, I would be content. Or if my body was just a little bit different, I would be content. Or if my kids were better, I would be content. Or if my husband would be home to help at breakfast, I would be content. Or if I was smarter, I would be content. Or if I had that outfit, I would be content. Or if I had the latest iPhone, I would for sure be content.
You know what, even if all of the above happened, I pry still wouldn't be content. I would find something else to long for, something else to be unsatisfied with.
So why could Paul be so content when he wrote that verse in Philippians? He was sitting in jail facing death...yet he choose to be satisfied.
I love what my footnote says in my Bible..."Paul was content because he could see life from God's point of view. He focused on what he was supposed to do, not what he felt he should have."
Maybe I've pushed too far, but I am going to keep going..."Paul had his priorities straight, and he was grateful for everything God had given him. Paul had detached himself from the nonessentials so that he could concentrate on the eternal."
Mind if I keep going? Good..."Often the desire for more or better possessions is really a longing to fill an empty place in a persons life. To what are you drawn when you feel empty inside? How can you find true contentment? The answer lies in your perspective, your priorities, and your source of power."
Wow.
Thank you Jesus for opening my eyes to this passage...
Please note, I am so awe-struck right now, that I'm not sure I have anything witty to say! And that doesn't happen very often!!
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
And I have been thinking about this verse ever since.
Part of this verse I can relate to, the part that talks about knowing what it is to have plenty. But then I wonder if I have learned the secret of being content in ANY and EVERY situation...hmm.
Well, let's see. I am pretty sure that when I look around me I see a house that has enough room for a family of 6 and all the stuff that comes with it.
If we're being honest, I pry won't have to go a day without clothes to wear, even if I don't buy anything new for the next 5 month and 25 days(but who's counting!?!?!)
Last time I wanted something to eat all I had to do was get up and walk across the room to find a buffet of choices in my kitchen.
As the rain is falling outside I am sitting in a warm, dry chair.
I drive a very reliable vehicle.
I have 4 healthy kids.
A husband who loves me.
Friends that I can call on my regular phone, or cell phone, or I can FaceTime them, or send them a message of FaceBook, or an e-mail.
And I could go on. My point is this: I AM LIVING IN PLENTY, yet I choose to not be content.
According to my dictionary, the word 'content' means satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.
And I just failed that test.
So many times during the day I choose to be unsatisfied with what I have. I long for more when what I have right in front of me isn't making me happy any longer.
If my house was clean, I would be content. Or if my body was just a little bit different, I would be content. Or if my kids were better, I would be content. Or if my husband would be home to help at breakfast, I would be content. Or if I was smarter, I would be content. Or if I had that outfit, I would be content. Or if I had the latest iPhone, I would for sure be content.
You know what, even if all of the above happened, I pry still wouldn't be content. I would find something else to long for, something else to be unsatisfied with.
So why could Paul be so content when he wrote that verse in Philippians? He was sitting in jail facing death...yet he choose to be satisfied.
I love what my footnote says in my Bible..."Paul was content because he could see life from God's point of view. He focused on what he was supposed to do, not what he felt he should have."
Maybe I've pushed too far, but I am going to keep going..."Paul had his priorities straight, and he was grateful for everything God had given him. Paul had detached himself from the nonessentials so that he could concentrate on the eternal."
Mind if I keep going? Good..."Often the desire for more or better possessions is really a longing to fill an empty place in a persons life. To what are you drawn when you feel empty inside? How can you find true contentment? The answer lies in your perspective, your priorities, and your source of power."
Wow.
Thank you Jesus for opening my eyes to this passage...
Please note, I am so awe-struck right now, that I'm not sure I have anything witty to say! And that doesn't happen very often!!
Monday, November 4, 2013
Disclaimer
This post was a suggestion from my husband, who also happens to be my editor.
He knows me well, and yet he still loves me. More on that in a later post perhaps.
For now, I need to let you in on a little secret...Friday was the first time ever in my life that I have written any type of blog. For real. If fact, Friday was really the first day that I gave it any thought.
I shared with the ladies in my "Bible Study" Group(I have to use those little things, because my husband is sure that we talk more than we study the Bible. And he is right. We are more like a "Do Life Together" Group. Or something like that. After an intense study we did take a little respite from any type of formal material, and now we are back on track reading What Happens When Women Say Yes to God, which I referenced in an earlier post.) the plan I had to take a 6-month hiatus from spending any money on clothes for myself. Two of the ladies in my group are bloggers, and encouraged me to do the same.
I laughed.
Then Friday one of them bid me a "Happy 1st Day" message on Facebook, encouraged me again to blog, and 5 minutes later I had a name picked out, and my first entry written.
That must have been an act of God, because I don't usually have 5 uninterrupted minutes in which to think straight, let alone get a catchy name chosen for my blog.
Anyway, that said, my husband brought up a good point last night: Why exactly am I writing this blog? Is it for a certain amount of glory? Is it so that when you see me you can commend me? Am I looking for some recognition?
Nope.
I think Jen Hatmaker sums it up best in her book Seven:
"I'm so not here to boss you or make you feel guilty. I don't have an agenda with you other than sharing our(my) little journey of reduction, and if you find a point of connection meaningful to your story, marvelous."
I am not blogging about my 6-month fast out of arrogance, but rather repentence. In fact, if God had't lead me to start this, I would have been very happy walking this journey alone. But that's the neat thing about life...God intended us to do it together. Even when that puts us in a very vulnerable open-book situation...like the one I have found myself in here.
So I will keep typing, because it seems that a few of you are intrigued with what I am doing, how I am doing it, and with what I am going to learn from it.
I am going to leave you today with some words from Sarah Young's Jesus Calling:
"Walk peacefully with Me through this day. You are wondering how you will cope with all that is expected of you. You must traverse this day like any other: one step at a time. Instead of mentally rehearsing how you will do this or that, keep your mind on My Presence and on taking the next step. The more demanding your day, the more help you can expect from Me. This is a training opportunity, since I designed you for deep dependence on your Shepherd-King. Challenging times wake you up and amplify your awareness of needing My help.
When you don't know what to do, wait while I open the way before you. Trust that I know what I'm doing, and be ready to follow My lead. I will give strength to you, and I will bless you with Peace."
I just love it when what I am hearing from God is being confirmed through other avenues.
Please note that I really don't read as many self-help books as I might indicate. I just happen to find a couple of good nuggets on the few pages that I did read.
He knows me well, and yet he still loves me. More on that in a later post perhaps.
For now, I need to let you in on a little secret...Friday was the first time ever in my life that I have written any type of blog. For real. If fact, Friday was really the first day that I gave it any thought.
I shared with the ladies in my "Bible Study" Group(I have to use those little things, because my husband is sure that we talk more than we study the Bible. And he is right. We are more like a "Do Life Together" Group. Or something like that. After an intense study we did take a little respite from any type of formal material, and now we are back on track reading What Happens When Women Say Yes to God, which I referenced in an earlier post.) the plan I had to take a 6-month hiatus from spending any money on clothes for myself. Two of the ladies in my group are bloggers, and encouraged me to do the same.
I laughed.
Then Friday one of them bid me a "Happy 1st Day" message on Facebook, encouraged me again to blog, and 5 minutes later I had a name picked out, and my first entry written.
That must have been an act of God, because I don't usually have 5 uninterrupted minutes in which to think straight, let alone get a catchy name chosen for my blog.
Anyway, that said, my husband brought up a good point last night: Why exactly am I writing this blog? Is it for a certain amount of glory? Is it so that when you see me you can commend me? Am I looking for some recognition?
Nope.
I think Jen Hatmaker sums it up best in her book Seven:
"I'm so not here to boss you or make you feel guilty. I don't have an agenda with you other than sharing our(my) little journey of reduction, and if you find a point of connection meaningful to your story, marvelous."
I am not blogging about my 6-month fast out of arrogance, but rather repentence. In fact, if God had't lead me to start this, I would have been very happy walking this journey alone. But that's the neat thing about life...God intended us to do it together. Even when that puts us in a very vulnerable open-book situation...like the one I have found myself in here.
So I will keep typing, because it seems that a few of you are intrigued with what I am doing, how I am doing it, and with what I am going to learn from it.
I am going to leave you today with some words from Sarah Young's Jesus Calling:
"Walk peacefully with Me through this day. You are wondering how you will cope with all that is expected of you. You must traverse this day like any other: one step at a time. Instead of mentally rehearsing how you will do this or that, keep your mind on My Presence and on taking the next step. The more demanding your day, the more help you can expect from Me. This is a training opportunity, since I designed you for deep dependence on your Shepherd-King. Challenging times wake you up and amplify your awareness of needing My help.
When you don't know what to do, wait while I open the way before you. Trust that I know what I'm doing, and be ready to follow My lead. I will give strength to you, and I will bless you with Peace."
I just love it when what I am hearing from God is being confirmed through other avenues.
Please note that I really don't read as many self-help books as I might indicate. I just happen to find a couple of good nuggets on the few pages that I did read.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
My Crutch
Today I was tempted.
As we pulled out of my parents driveway with only our youngest in the truck, my mind quickly went to the place where it is accustomed to going. Internet shopping. With the other 3 in the care of my parents and a tired toddler in tow, I was anticipating how I would spend a few quite hours on a Sunday afternoon...checking out the latest and greatest at GAP, Old Navy, and JCrew.
And then I remembered about this crazy challenge I had taken on.
Bummer.
So what is my problem? Why can't I just put it out of my mind? Why do I struggle with shopping?
Because shopping has become my crutch.
You know, my go-to.
When the kids are fighting and I am at the end of my rope...when I am feeling a little lousy because I am enduring another sinus infection...when Zach's work hours steal him away from me longer than I would like...when I need an automatic pick-me-up...when I want to feel better about myself...when I am feeling overwhelmed by the needs of 4 little ones...when I have a few minutes to myself to dream...I shop.
The problem isn't shopping in and of itself, the problem is that I have given shopping for new clothes to a spot in my heart that needs to be filled by someone, not something. I have assumed that shopping can fill a void.
It can't.
I love my UPS man. He brings me this sweet little bags and boxes full of goodies! New shirts, new dresses, new jackets, and more! But the joy I find in those packages quickly fades and I am left longing for more.
More packages.
More clothes.
More. More. More.
And all the while I have this Savior who is sitting back just shaking his head saying, "Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay, when will you get it? When will you understand that what you are looking for cannot be found in shopping, or technology, or football teams, or ....."
I can't say I get it yet. But at the end of this journey I hope that I do. I mean, I know in my heart what is right. I know that God doesn't bless us here on this earth so that we can selfishly enjoy the abundance. I understand that we are blessed to be a blessing. And I understand that I serve a God who wants to be my crutch, my go-to when this life feels bigger than me.
So I am proud to say that although I was tempted, I did not fall.
Day 3 was a success.
Please note that I love my husband and I love my kids. I love that my husband has a job that allows me to stay home, and I appreciate all the hours that he puts in, his dedication both to his job at work and home. And my 4 kiddos are more than I ever dreamed I would have, and their love outweighs their crazy.
As we pulled out of my parents driveway with only our youngest in the truck, my mind quickly went to the place where it is accustomed to going. Internet shopping. With the other 3 in the care of my parents and a tired toddler in tow, I was anticipating how I would spend a few quite hours on a Sunday afternoon...checking out the latest and greatest at GAP, Old Navy, and JCrew.
And then I remembered about this crazy challenge I had taken on.
Bummer.
So what is my problem? Why can't I just put it out of my mind? Why do I struggle with shopping?
Because shopping has become my crutch.
You know, my go-to.
When the kids are fighting and I am at the end of my rope...when I am feeling a little lousy because I am enduring another sinus infection...when Zach's work hours steal him away from me longer than I would like...when I need an automatic pick-me-up...when I want to feel better about myself...when I am feeling overwhelmed by the needs of 4 little ones...when I have a few minutes to myself to dream...I shop.
The problem isn't shopping in and of itself, the problem is that I have given shopping for new clothes to a spot in my heart that needs to be filled by someone, not something. I have assumed that shopping can fill a void.
It can't.
I love my UPS man. He brings me this sweet little bags and boxes full of goodies! New shirts, new dresses, new jackets, and more! But the joy I find in those packages quickly fades and I am left longing for more.
More packages.
More clothes.
More. More. More.
And all the while I have this Savior who is sitting back just shaking his head saying, "Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay, when will you get it? When will you understand that what you are looking for cannot be found in shopping, or technology, or football teams, or ....."
I can't say I get it yet. But at the end of this journey I hope that I do. I mean, I know in my heart what is right. I know that God doesn't bless us here on this earth so that we can selfishly enjoy the abundance. I understand that we are blessed to be a blessing. And I understand that I serve a God who wants to be my crutch, my go-to when this life feels bigger than me.
So I am proud to say that although I was tempted, I did not fall.
Day 3 was a success.
Please note that I love my husband and I love my kids. I love that my husband has a job that allows me to stay home, and I appreciate all the hours that he puts in, his dedication both to his job at work and home. And my 4 kiddos are more than I ever dreamed I would have, and their love outweighs their crazy.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
The road
I am not a spontanious person, which my husband can attest to. I like a plan, and I like to stick to the plan. Knowing that about me, you can assume that I didn't come to this decision to refrain from spending money on clothes as quickly or as easily as what my first post implied.
God has been working on my heart for awhile now.
The first seed was planted in church. We have been listening to a series based on the book of Ecclesiastes. Wow. Every week I sit in church and listen to the wisdom our pastors have to bestow upon us I feel like they are shooting arrows right at me with every word they speak. Wait, let me try that again...I feel like God is shooting sharp arrows at the core of my being with each word He has given them to say. No really, it has been that powerful!
Here are a few verses we read couple weeks ago that shot right to my heart:
"As goods increase,
so do those who consume them.
And what benefit are they to the owner
except to feast his eyes on them?
Naked a man comes from his mother's womb,
and as he comes, so he departs.
He takes nothing from his labor
that he can carry in his hand."
-Ecclesiastes 5:11 & 15
The next place God spoke to me was through my Grandma Eekhoff. She is 89.
She was in Pella for about a week a month ago while she battled a stomach infection. If I was going somewhere for a week, I would require 1 very large suitcase to put all my necessities in...clothes(perhaps more than one outfit per day...just in case the first one packed for that day didn't "feel" right), shoes, toiletries, undergarments, cell phone charger, swimsuits, walking clothes(which is different than regular clothes), jackets(you need more than one, in case it is raining, or starts snowing), and pajamas. You get the point.
She packed one little suitcase which contained 2-3 outfits, pajamas, and perhaps a toothbrush.
She lives a simple life. A content life.
And then there was this comment from my son, which he seemed to say about once a week.
"I am out of hangers again"
That isn't because the hangers were getting taken from his closet, but rather due to the fact that I kept buying things to fill them with. Perhaps too many things.
And then I read chapter 2 of Lysa TerKeurst's book entitled What Happens When Women Say Yes to God.
She wrote:
"God's Word is the language the Holy Spirit uses to help us understand what God is speaking to our hearts. We must get into God's Word and let God's Word get into us."
And I knew what God was leading me to do.
All of the things around me were leading me to make this change, even if only for 6 months, so that my eyes will be opened. You see, God had been orchestrating my life so that all these pieces would line up, and confirm what He was asking me to do.
You might choose to take this challenge with me, or you might choose not to, and I will not judge you for that either way. I just know that when God asks me to walk down a road, I want to follow Him down it.
Please note that I was not an English major in college. In fact, a lot of the papers I wrote came back with a lot of red marks on them. So I am doing my best to underline what needs to be and put quotes around what needs them, but honestly, I graduated from college 11 years ago and have had 4 kids since then, and underlines and italics and quotations confuse me.
God has been working on my heart for awhile now.
The first seed was planted in church. We have been listening to a series based on the book of Ecclesiastes. Wow. Every week I sit in church and listen to the wisdom our pastors have to bestow upon us I feel like they are shooting arrows right at me with every word they speak. Wait, let me try that again...I feel like God is shooting sharp arrows at the core of my being with each word He has given them to say. No really, it has been that powerful!
Here are a few verses we read couple weeks ago that shot right to my heart:
"As goods increase,
so do those who consume them.
And what benefit are they to the owner
except to feast his eyes on them?
Naked a man comes from his mother's womb,
and as he comes, so he departs.
He takes nothing from his labor
that he can carry in his hand."
-Ecclesiastes 5:11 & 15
The next place God spoke to me was through my Grandma Eekhoff. She is 89.
She was in Pella for about a week a month ago while she battled a stomach infection. If I was going somewhere for a week, I would require 1 very large suitcase to put all my necessities in...clothes(perhaps more than one outfit per day...just in case the first one packed for that day didn't "feel" right), shoes, toiletries, undergarments, cell phone charger, swimsuits, walking clothes(which is different than regular clothes), jackets(you need more than one, in case it is raining, or starts snowing), and pajamas. You get the point.
She packed one little suitcase which contained 2-3 outfits, pajamas, and perhaps a toothbrush.
She lives a simple life. A content life.
And then there was this comment from my son, which he seemed to say about once a week.
"I am out of hangers again"
That isn't because the hangers were getting taken from his closet, but rather due to the fact that I kept buying things to fill them with. Perhaps too many things.
And then I read chapter 2 of Lysa TerKeurst's book entitled What Happens When Women Say Yes to God.
She wrote:
"God's Word is the language the Holy Spirit uses to help us understand what God is speaking to our hearts. We must get into God's Word and let God's Word get into us."
And I knew what God was leading me to do.
All of the things around me were leading me to make this change, even if only for 6 months, so that my eyes will be opened. You see, God had been orchestrating my life so that all these pieces would line up, and confirm what He was asking me to do.
You might choose to take this challenge with me, or you might choose not to, and I will not judge you for that either way. I just know that when God asks me to walk down a road, I want to follow Him down it.
Please note that I was not an English major in college. In fact, a lot of the papers I wrote came back with a lot of red marks on them. So I am doing my best to underline what needs to be and put quotes around what needs them, but honestly, I graduated from college 11 years ago and have had 4 kids since then, and underlines and italics and quotations confuse me.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Day 1 of Many
"I heard about this girl who went 6 months without spending any money on clothes for herself."
Those were the words that my husband spoke to me, which began a short, but powerful conversation. We were driving home from a kid-free day, part of which was spent doing some fabulous speed-shopping at both a regular and outlet mall.
My initial thought was that whoever this girl is that he is speaking of, she must live under a rock. I don't know very many girls or ladies, who could or would want to do that. But I pried a little deeper..."What is your point exactly?" I asked my husband.
"I think we can do with a lot less."
And so my 6-month challenge begins today, on November 1st and goes until May 1, 2014.
That feels like a really long time to me. We will have Dutch Costumes all hemmed and ready to be worn for Tulip Time...spring flowers will be in full bloom...winter will just be memories on our cameras...and school will be a month away from dismissing for the summer.
A lot of things happen in a 6-month period of time. And I am hoping that something HUGE happens in me during the next 6 months. I pray that my eyes will be opened to the true definition of a need vs a want...I pray that I will be able to model to my children what living with less looks like, so one day they will know that true joy doesn't come from what you have, but rather what you can give out of your abundance...I pray that God will give me His eyes, so I can see myself the way that He does...I pray that God will work in me in ways that He has never done before.
So walk with me, Lindsay, as I Fast for Less.
Please note that this Blog is under my husband's name, only because he was at work, I was ready to get going on this, and I had no clue how to change it from his name to mine. He is the tech-savvy one at our house, and I like it that way. So walk with me, Lindsay, wife of Zach, mother of Holden, Emerson, Breckyn & Taityn as I Fast for Less.
Those were the words that my husband spoke to me, which began a short, but powerful conversation. We were driving home from a kid-free day, part of which was spent doing some fabulous speed-shopping at both a regular and outlet mall.
My initial thought was that whoever this girl is that he is speaking of, she must live under a rock. I don't know very many girls or ladies, who could or would want to do that. But I pried a little deeper..."What is your point exactly?" I asked my husband.
"I think we can do with a lot less."
And so my 6-month challenge begins today, on November 1st and goes until May 1, 2014.
That feels like a really long time to me. We will have Dutch Costumes all hemmed and ready to be worn for Tulip Time...spring flowers will be in full bloom...winter will just be memories on our cameras...and school will be a month away from dismissing for the summer.
A lot of things happen in a 6-month period of time. And I am hoping that something HUGE happens in me during the next 6 months. I pray that my eyes will be opened to the true definition of a need vs a want...I pray that I will be able to model to my children what living with less looks like, so one day they will know that true joy doesn't come from what you have, but rather what you can give out of your abundance...I pray that God will give me His eyes, so I can see myself the way that He does...I pray that God will work in me in ways that He has never done before.
So walk with me, Lindsay, as I Fast for Less.
Please note that this Blog is under my husband's name, only because he was at work, I was ready to get going on this, and I had no clue how to change it from his name to mine. He is the tech-savvy one at our house, and I like it that way. So walk with me, Lindsay, wife of Zach, mother of Holden, Emerson, Breckyn & Taityn as I Fast for Less.
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